

I did it, yall. I went on vacation with 40 relatives, yes 4-0, and I survived!!!
Again…FORTY! lol. FORTY PEOPLE!
I’m an introvert, I love being quiet, I can spend large periods of time completely by myself not making a sound and not having any human contact whatsoever. So, this is key for introverts…we DO NOT thrive in large groups. The more, the merrier is NOT our motto.
When my mom said let’s do a family cruise, my first reaction was “oh dear God NO!!” I know, I know…it’s a horrible reaction, but listen to me…relaxation and large groups don’t always go hand in hand, and I know my limitations when it comes to this type of thing. I know I’m not alone on this. But my my thoughts were… what if there’s drama? What if they make me get up early every day? What if they make me do a bunch of stuff I don’t want to do? How are we going to coordinate a ton of people to do activities?? And then the vision of herding cats popped into my head.
With that said, I cannot tell you what made me agree to go on a cruise with a massive group of people, even if they were my blood (or the spouse/friend/companion of blood). But I did it. And I roped my boyfriend and bestie into going as well. You’d think having them there would be a relief, but this oddly just added to my cruise prep stress. What if someone in my family says something to one of them, and I spend the entire trip playing defense and running interference? What if Cousin So-and-So asks me to go to the pool, but my boyfriend wants me to go play shuffle board? What if my auntie gets too intrusive with my bestie, grilling her about her most intimate life choices? Will the group expect all 40 of us to do every single thing together? Will I be able to escape the group, boyfriend, and bestie to do my necessary introvert recharging? I didn’t know what to expect and the whole thing just made me nervous.
So cruise day approached, we met the group at the port, and the 5-day trip to Bermuda commenced. Hugs, introductions, and lots of reacquainting happened. We laughed, ate, danced, swam and soaked in the sun. And after five days together, I’m happy to report that the trip was not worth the stressing at all!
Let me tell you what you can do to make your family trip a success this summer:
While I was terrified initially, and I feared all things that could go wrong in a large group, my trip turned out to be a wonderful time, and I’m so glad I decided to go! If you have any tips, please feel free to comment!
I love a local getaway, or as some call it, a staycation. I’m the queen of renting a hotel room, and acting like I’m on a legit vacation, regardless of whether I caught a plane or took a 20 minute car ride to get there. Mentally escaping my day-to-day routine does not necessarily require taking leave from work or taking a flight. So for Valentine’s day, my boyfriend and I decided to do an over-nighter in DC this past weekend.
I worked in DC for over 20 years, but that feels like a million years ago. I’m no longer working in the nation’s capital, and now that I’m co-habitating, I live over an hour away from the city. So going back to DC felt like a chance to revisit my old stomping grounds and it was also an opportunity to see what’s new since I was last there.
I don’t like to rip and run on vacation…or staycation. My requirements for a trip or a staycation to be successful are pretty easily attainable. I like to find a nice bar and a place to listen to music, I like a few nice photo opps, and maybe a cute store to buy a trinket. If I can do those things, that’s a staycation well-done, in my world at least.
Staying one night in DC is hardly enough time to explore all of the new areas, such as the Wharf or Center City. It really didn’t give us time to visit monuments or check out museums. So what the heck did we do???
So here’s what I did. I reserved a cute hotel for a rate that I thought was reasonable, packed my bags, and showed up there. That’s about all the up-front planning that I did. My thought was…there are bars and restaurants and cool spots throughout the whole city. Once I get to the hotel, we can walk a few blocks and see what pulls us in. Did that idea work? Sorta. Here’s how the overnighter played out.
Arrived at hotel: Traffic from Baltimore County into DC made me realize that I don’t miss working in the city. I chose the Kimpton Hotel Rouge in Dupont. Kimpton hotels are always nice, and this one had saucy red lacquer and leather decor that felt very Valentine-y. So I was super excited. The rate was ok ($128), but there were so many additional fees that it irked me. $19 taxes, $25 amenity fee, and $4 amenity fee tax…even the fees have their own taxes…what??? I was also concerned about the parking. The hotel offered valet for $47—UGH! —plus $9 parking tax (are you kidding me!?!). There were no garages in the near vicinity that proved to be a better deal. And the only thing worse than DC street parking is DC street parking overnight. The confusing signage just made my nerves bad. So we opted for the valet. This worked well convenience-wise, but the price was steep and the tax on the steep price was just irritating. This is definitely one part of being in the city that I do not miss at all.
Found a great restaurant: After eenie-meenie-miney-moe to figure out which direction to head…we opted to walk towards Dupont Circle in search of a place for lunch. After reading a few menus, we decided on a place called Magnolia Kitchen & Bar. Affordable prices, a nice drink menu, and chic decor appealed to all of our senses. Add an attentive staff, a perfect playlist and great food, and we loved this place. I even pulled the manager aside and told him as much.
Stumbled into a beer garden: OK, this was a complete accident. While walking back to the hotel, I had to use the bathroom super, super bad. I saw a bouncer and an open door and decided this was a good place to find a restroom. We hiked a million stairs to the roof and found the PACKED Sauf Haus Bier Hall, where we were pretty certain we were the oldest people in the place. After standing in line at the bathroom, we actually decided to stay for a drink. Despite the fact that I HATE packed places and that it felt like I was at a frat house day party, we actually had a blast. One drink transitioned into a dance…and then another drink and more dancing. The dj was clearly more our age because I swear every song took me back to either high school or college.
Had free happy hour at the hotel: We pulled ourselves out of the beer hall and headed back to the hotel for their free happy hour. The selection wasn’t extensive, but we enjoyed a few glasses of free wine, and that was perfect for us. They also had a hot cider with bourbon. What more can you ask for for free??
Went to U Street for live music and dinner: This is where the decision to wing it fell apart. My coworker recommended Jojo DC, and raved about the food and live music, so this was one place I knew I would try on our trip. And this was the one thing that didn’t quite pan out. It didn’t occur to me to make a reservation, and since we went relatively early in the evening, I figured we’d have no issues with getting a table. WRONG…so wrong. It was standing room only at the bar, and none of the smart people who made reservations flaked. So we never got a table and eventually left.
Had brunch before we left: We did quite a bit of drinking on Saturday, so naturally the first thing on our minds on Sunday was food. We decided to go to Commissary DC, which was only a few blocks away. But I learned from my lesson the previous night, and this time I called to make a brunch reservation. Good thing, because it was packed when we got there, and there was a long wait without a reservation. The food was delicious! The staff worked as a perfect team, and the ambiance was perfect and eclectic.
Even with the things that didn’t pan out, we had a great time. Lots of laughs and dancing and snuggles…it made for a great V-day date and we’d probably do it the exact same way the next time.
Money, money, money money….MONEY!!! Some people got to have it, some people really need it…and some have no idea whether they have it or they need it because they don’t take the time to review their books. “What books??” You ask. Well, whether it’s a book or a spreadsheet or an app on your phone, I’m talking about your finances.
Every year kinda goes the same way when it comes to my finances. I have a pretty strong start with being disciplined and focused, then I eventually lose focus but somehow the bills still get paid, and by the end of the year, things get pretty loosey goosey. I am not aware of balances, I stop telling myself “no” to purchases as much as I should, I start becoming really focused on when I get paid again, and the paycheck-to-paycheck mentality kicks in a bit. Then January rolls around and I force myself to get reacquainted with my finances, and I become focused and disciplined all over again.
So…here we are…it’s January and it’s time to know what’s happening with my finances. It’s time to regain control, see the big picture, know my numbers and dates, and make the promise to myself to be more fiscally responsible than I was last year.
Where to begin: I have a spreadsheet which has been my trusty companion for the last five years or so. I use it to track account balances, financial obligations, and monthly payments. So I pulled that out and got to work. I went account by account, checked balances and limits, minimum payments, and due dates. One page of the spreadsheet contains every debt that I owe for every monthly payment I make. It has the date that those payments are due each month, the current balance of that account, the limit for that account, and the method which I make my monthly payments. I update it for any new accounts and delete any old accounts that no longer apply. I sum this all up and I see where I stand from a total debt perspective. Then I compare that amount to the debt reported on my freecreditreport.com report. (Side note: Freecreditreport.com is a very useful tool. I highly recommend this or some type of credit monitoring service.)
So here’s the spreadsheet template that I use.
After I’ve updated all the accounts on my current payment roster, I go to my other sheet that lays out my monthly perspective. I put in my paycheck dates for the year, the amount of each paycheck, and the bills that I pay each month. This is where I track each time I get a paycheck, and each time I actually make a payment towards my bills. This is also where I become a little lazy because most of my payments are set to be automatically paid. I like that these payments occur behind the scenes and that I do not have to monitor them on a daily basis. I feel like I should stay on top of my monthly payments, but because God invented autopay, I just don’t have the need to monitor it super close.
So…between these two spreadsheets, this is how I go about performing my “State of My Finances” review.
Upon completing my review, here’s what I found out— I kicked ASS this year financially! GO ME! 1) I paid off all credit card accounts except one that I use for vacations and such. 2) My credit score has gone up, up, up despite purchasing a vehicle last year! 3) My monthly utility, cell phone, cable, etc. have all been kept at a satisfactory level. 4) I am spending significantly less than I make. 5) And I have a much healthier surplus at the end of each month. YES! This is what it’s all about!
Doing an annual “State of Your Finances” is an absolute MUST for everyone, and here’s why:
You know where you stand: Every adult should know who they owe, how much they owe, and when they owe it. You need to know whether you need to make changes or stay the course. You need to know whether you can withstand a financial crisis or an unexpected life change. While credit reports are a great way to know this information, sometimes they are wrong. If you haven’t done your own work, you may not realize there are errors, and that can hurt you in the long run. A good example for me is, when I was furloughed for 35 days, and missed nearly three paychecks, my boyfriend was actually surprised that I wasn’t a big ball of stress. That’s because I knew I had savings, I knew I had credit cards that weren’t maxed out, and I knew what sat in my bank account. Granted, it wasn’t a great time, I definitely avoided Target like the plague…but I was able to survive it unscathed.
Knowing your financial status is empowering: Every year when I do my self-audit, I come out of the experience feeling better. When they say knowing is half the battle, that’s legit. You feel empowered to do better, to plot a course, to move to the next step. Or you feel validated in the way you spent money in the previous year. Even in the years when I realize my financial situation was not great, when I was completely under water and overwhelmed, I still completed my finance-check feeling better. I’d rather know than not know. Knowing your starting point helps you determine your goals. Just because things aren’t great doesn’t mean you can’t improve and get to where you want to be. Trust me. I know first-hand, and maybe one day I’ll write about my journey to this point.
Not knowing is stressful: Flying blindly is a bad idea. Not knowing whether you are close to financial ruin or well on your way to financial freedom can cause stress. Playing fast and loose with your finances is never a good thing. Getting to a checkout line and not knowing whether you have $500 or $5 in your account is not cute. Going to dinner with your girls, and having your stomach in knots because you don’t know what the waiter is going to say when he brings your card back…is a horrible position to be in. Remove one source of stress from your life. Know for sure what’s going on. Either way, the money is either in your account or it isn’t. Don’t add to the stress by putting yourself in embarrassing situations just because you don’t want to know your truth.
You can set the course and let go of the wheel: What I’ve learned is that by going over my bills and payments in the beginning of the year, I actually figure out what my plan is for the year, set everything up, and then I don’t think about it. I just let the auto-pay magic happen. Because I know that I’m not the greatest at being disciplined, I set myself up for success from the beginning and then I don’t worry about it. Over the course of the last few years, I always dread this audit, and then realize things are better than where I started. But that’s because I’ve set payments up, I’ve updated when things get allocated based on my pay dates for the year, so I don’t have to constantly monitor and look at things in order for them to get done. Lay out your plan and let it go to work!
You can take advantage of opportunities: Whether it’s planning a trip you swore you didn’t have enough money for, or increasing your contributions to your 401k, knowing definitively where you stand with your finances opens the door to more opportunities. For me, if I have money sitting in the bank, that’s money available for me to spend. But instead, if I allocate it before I see it, then it’s helping me accomplish a goal. I know I’d much rather accomplish a goal than purchase yet another pair of jeans. Let your money help you experience life to its fullest. Don’t let it be the reason you don’t want to get out of bed in the morning. I’ve been there–it’s horrible.
Start your year off right. Don’t hesitate! Know where you stand financially and set yourself up to be in a better position when you review your finances next year. I know you can do it!
Shutdown 2018 is trending everywhere and is on every news outlet. It’s a pretty big deal and has the potential to impact almost everyone in one way or another. From visiting national parks to filing your taxes to catching a flight, in some way your life could possibly be touched. While you may feel one way or another about the circumstances surrounding the current shutdown, which is now on its 24th day with no end in sight, the reality is that there are real-world consequences to this whole ordeal.
Living in the region that surrounds the nation’s capital, the impact of a government shutdown is a little more prominent than regions outside of this political hotbed. With the current shutdown impacting 800,000 workers total, about half of those workers are located in the DC metro area. It is the livelihood of this region. It is hard to find a household that doesn’t contain someone that works for the government, or that doesn’t contain someone who is a contractor for the government. Nearly every business in this region relies on government employees buying their products or services. Restaurants rely on patrons that are government employees. Caregivers provide services to children of government employees. Even ride-share providers such as Uber and Lyft rely on the comings and goings of government employees in this area for income. In short, when the government shuts down, this region suffers. Money is not flowing, inventories are not being purchased, services are not being contracted. It literally takes food off the table of a majority of households in this region. And with this particular shutdown overlapping the Christmas holiday, a time when people go above and beyond their normal spending, a major employer shutting down is huge.
I’ve been a humble civil servant for 13 years now. Prior to federal service, I worked for huge multinational businesses. But I was always told by family and friends that true job security happens when you work for the government. Known for its stable work structure and great benefits, those that work for the government tend to retire from the government. For most, the stability is the biggest selling point for becoming a federal employee. It was for me. I was in a place where I wanted to think about my long term future, I wanted to feel like I was doing something useful for my fellow citizens, and I wanted the stability that came with a job with the government. And in my 13 years as a civil servant, I’ve had two second significant shutdowns (the first being in 2013 and lasted for 17 days), the second happened so quickly that we only missed a day’s work, and this one is my third. In addition, there have been too many to count shutdown threats. I never had anything like this in private industry.
So on behalf of those 800,000 workers dealing with this situation, and waiting to know when and if they will return to work, let me explain what it’s like being on furlough.
Mild. Initially. The shutdown came as people were preparing for the holidays, doing last minute shopping, ripping and running to various events and parties, and traveling to their holiday destinations. What better time for your office to close for a couple days? The assumption was that come the new year, this would all be sorted out in time to jump back into work as scheduled.
Uncertain. It began to become obvious that this shutdown had the potential to not see a quick resolution. And then the real-world issues started coming to mind. When and if I will receive another pay check, how far will those funds last me, do I have savings to last a while, what bills are due, how much money is available to spend on groceries and gas, how long do I have to prepare for?
Confused. As you start weighing out the few options you have in front of you, you don’t know whether to hold your position and do nothing; file for unemployment knowing the consequences; or potentially be late with paying bills and deal with the dominoes that fall from making that decision. It became imperative to start mapping out a few possible plans for money in the near future.
Worried. I don’t want to say I am not feeling the stress of the shutdown, but I will say that I am fortunate to co-habitate with someone that’s not a government employee, and that my only dependent is my aging, ornery cat. However, we are, at the moment, paying for two households, and our finances are kept separately, so any money that I may need will have to be asked for and paid back (my preference, not his). While spending habits may have to be adjusted for the home, I am not likely to go hungry or homeless. But…for those that live in single-income households, that have children, that take care of parents, that are dealing with a less than ideal situation, and that money paid on time every time, is imperative to their day-to-day survival, this situation is dire. If you miss one check, you may be able to hold off a landlord or creditor for a little while. You may be able to use gift cards from the holidays or tighten up the food budget to make ends meet for a little while. You can put yourself in a no-spend status for a few weeks and hope it ends quickly. But that may not work for all situations because a lot of bills just do not work like that, and that’s worrisome.
Heartbroken. For those that are required to report to work with no pay, my heart truly breaks. Commuting to work takes money, cleaning uniforms takes money, parking your car, catching a train, riding a bus…all takes money. Paying for childcare while you’re at work takes money. And for some, the ability to get to a job and work it, while getting paid nothing in return…is not only wrong, impossible, and f*^$’d up, it’s demoralizing and hurtful. It’s causing people to call out sick, leaving their fellow employees overworked and vulnerable, which in turn puts the public at risk. Workers ranging from prison guards to TSA workers, calling out sick because it’s too costly or too demoralizing to come to work, thus putting the other safety officers at risk because they are understaffed, or putting the public at risk because something slides through undetected. Words like “involuntary servitude” are being used and that’s essentially what it amounts to. It’s just heartbreaking to think about all of the people that are suffering or the people that could potentially be harmed.
Stressed. As February 1st approaches, issues such as healthcare start coming into play. With no paychecks, health insurance eventually will stop getting paid, and with no pay coming in, furloughed employees may be unable to pay their own premiums out of pocket. Sickness and injury happens all day every day, and potential lack of healthcare leaves furloughed workers and their families vulnerable to risks. In addition, February 1st will mark a month without pay, and the point where credit scores may start being effected, landlords may be unforgiving, and the pantry may start getting more and more bare. All of that is scary and stressful beyond words.
Infuriated. You feel like a pawn in a game that you have no control over. You feel like people do not truly care about you, your family, your friends, or your livelihood. All they care about are pride issues…winning, losing, saving face, how they are perceived, getting jabs in, media time, etc. Meanwhile your family, friends, and neighbors are suffering in very real ways.
Hopeless. The sides that control your situation are dug in. Neither wants to budge. Neither wants to listen. And each day, it seems like they get more set on staying that way. It feels out of your control, and it quite frankly, feels hopeless.
I do honestly feel like EVENTUALLY this situation will be resolved and things will get back on track. I never thought I’d be at almost the month mark without knowing how long it will go on. This has given me some time to do some things around the house (purge anyone??), and do some writing, which I feel like I never have time for. But I’d love to put some of the emotions mentioned above to bed, and get back to work.
Embrace Your Dumpster Fire
dedicated to simple living
Find His Joy & Love In Everything