Category: budget

I Created Habits Instead of Resolutions

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I did not make any resolutions this year. Honestly, it just feels so phony for me to do it. I know myself very well and I know that creating this new version of myself on the 1st of the year, with lofty goals and dreams of perfection, is just not realistic or honest.

I will not miraculously start doing things that I’ve never done in the past, and that I have not taken the time to create a pathway of success for.

I didn’t create a vision board, because honestly, for me, it’s just cool pictures and no action plan.

But I did say to myself that I’d like to do better with my finances this year, I’d like to not wake up super hung over after happy hours, and I’d love to stop relying so much on coffee. I decided to try out some new habits, I didn’t set any timelines or expectations, and I just decided to see if I liked these things and if they were things I wanted to continue doing.

So long as I like doing them, I will continue to do them. If I decide that they no longer serve me or that they are of no interest to me, I will stop. I am not going to pressure myself about any of it.

Here are six things I have tried in January, that have now become regular habits.

  • Balance my checkbook daily: How old school can I get, right? I’ve tried various ways to track my finances over the years. I’ve used various excel spreadsheets and I’ve used a planners and paper, but I still felt like I was sort of caught off guard by some payments that came out of my account. I wanted to get back to entering purchases and bills into my bank register, and reconciling the difference with the amount in my account. For me, there is power in looking at my account in this way every single day. Every day, it got easier to go through the reconciliation process. And then it became something that I couldn’t wait to do each night. So now it’s just part of my nighttime routine, just like brushing my teeth and taking my medications.
  • Not drinking alcohol: I went into this one knowing that it would not be a forever habit. Lately I have noticed that my body was not springing back after happy hour the way it had always done. I noticed I was not sleeping well on nights when I drank, and I was starting to make some bad decisions when I was drinking. Nothing super major, just maybe saying things I wouldn’t otherwise say, or being a little more rambunctious than I would prefer. So I decided to stop drinking for a while, and then make a decision about the relationship I want to have with alcohol going forward. So for now, drinking is on a pause for me. I have been leaning on mocktails, apple juice and ginger beer when I do go out, though I did have some wine this week.
  • Drinking tea instead of coffee: I had already managed to scale back to decaf coffee with zero sugar creamer a few months ago. This was already a huge step for me. But for January, I gave up coffee all together. This was actually not an intentional habit, but I got sick the first week of January and drank tea during that time. Once I got better, I did not go back to coffee, and surprisingly, I’m actually ok with it. So I believe this is a habit I will stick with. My daily hot beverage will be tea, and I will have coffee occasionally when I’m in the mood for it.
  • Listening to podcasts: I finally took the plunge and found some podcasts that interest me. I’ve now found intentional space in my day for podcasts. I have found a few podcasts that I absolutely love ranging from budgeting to mindfulness to true crime stories. I feel motivated to take action or inspired to think differently about something every time I listen. They really give me food for thought, or at the very least, I get some entertainment out of it.
  • Taking walks: At some point in January, I realized that neighborhood walks were the perfect time to listen to podcasts. So I started really looking forward to daily walks just so I could zone out and listen to podcasts. The walks aren’t anything major–usually about 20 minutes or so, and about a mile and some change. I don’t walk super fast, and I didn’t start off with any sort of fitness expectations. I just wanted to get out of the house, get some sun on my face, and get some fresh air into my lungs. But in January, I really leaned into the activity, and I decided to challenge myself to walk 30 miles in February.
  • Attending church (virtually): A local church was recommended to me, so I decided to attend virtually in January. I truly enjoy it and I take so many notes during each sermon. And I even refer back to them throughout the week. I love having practical action items and I love feeling like I am taking steps to being a better person.

Did you make any resolutions this year? How are they going for you?

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My Week of Vegging: What I Watched, Read, and Made

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The week between Christmas and New Years is like…my favorite. I absolutely just let myself BE this week. I did not have anything planned, I didn’t force myself to do any work outside of “work” work, though I took off most of the week so that I could use up leave that I was about to lose. I just did whatever I felt like doing when I felt like doing it, and I REFUSED to let myself feel bad for sitting on my sofa vegging out when there are plenty of things I “should” have been doing. Here’s what I got up to during my winter break.

What I watched:

  • Loot with Mya Rudolph (Apple+); Season 1, Ep. 1 – Cute first eppy about an uber rich woman and the charity organization that she didn’t know she ran. Definitely made me chuckle
  • White Lotus (HBOMax); Season 2, Ep. 1-3 – Such a strange, odd, slow-moving show that I can’t stop watching, just like Season 1, which shows that misery comes in all tax brackets
  • True Believers (Hulu); Season 1, Ep. 5 and 6 – It is fascinating to me how people get sucked into cults
  • Love, Victor (Hulu); Season 3, Ep. 5 and 6 – Adorable LGBTQ show about high school love and relationships
  • The Thing About Harry (Hulu) – Perfect feel-good LGBTQ love story about high school enemies that meet in college, and then again as adults
  • The China Hu$tle (Hulu) – A Wall Street heist documentary about Chinese companies and the U.S. stock market. The rich get richer…what’s new…
  • Blood & Water (Netflix); Season 1, Ep. 1-3 – A mystery show set in a prep school in South Africa. So cool and refreshing seeing a show set in Africa, and the plot sucked me in
  • Sex Lives of College Girls (HBOMax), Season 1, Ep. 1-4 -Funny show about dorm mates that makes me kinda wish I was back in college
  • The Big Conn (Apple+) – Gotta stay on top of all the scams, and there are a-plenty
  • Radio Christmas with Keisha Knight Pulliam (Hulu) – So incredibly cheesy. I don’t know what else to say lol
  • Baking Spirits Bright (Hulu) – A movie about fruitcake and Christmas. It is so hard to believe people really eat fruitcake
  • A Majestic Christmas (Hulu) – An architect goes to her hometown to save the town theater that’s being torn down by new owner who hates Christmas
  • A Picture Perfect Holiday with Tatyana Ali (Hulu) – A cabin is double booked by two photographers for the town’s Christmas photography retreat so…you know…will they fall in love or won’t they? Hmmm…

Apparently, I love watching Christmas movies while commenting indignantly about how unrealistic and cheesy they are, and about logical solutions that made way more sense than what the characters decided to do. Oh, and about the flaws in the plot…because they are so realistic. But I also love them so much, so I just keep watching them. Even if they are cringeworthy.

What I Read

  • The Weight of Your Wishes by Bailey Nicole – an age gap, MM, happily ever after story.

My sweet bestie bought me a Kindle last year, but my whole reading game changed when I broke down and got Kindle Unlimited a few months ago. I am now reading one to two books per week. I have never been a big reader, but when I can easily access books that are of interest to me, I just roll right from one book to the next without blinking. And my interests don’t have to be everybody else’s interests for me to enjoy my reading time. So I read whatever makes me happy.

What I organized

  • Shoes at the entryway – It’s amazing what a stylish box stored in a bookcase can do. I had been searching for shoe storage cabinets that would fit into the small space that I had by my doorway and I just could not find something that fit my needs.
  • My payment and budget calendar for the year – It’s never too soon to plan out your pay days and holidays.
  • My finances spreadsheet for the year – Updated all of my balances, due dates, and amounts due. Gotta know your numbers.
  • My old email mailbox that is completely full – Started purging and deleting messages and I finally have one percent of free space.

What I crafted

  • Pom poms (I’m obsessed!) – It became my mindless, soothing thing to do while I watch tv. There’s something calming about snipping yarn. I plan to add these to some baskets and to make some garland.
  • My first latchhook – I thought I may like this as a craft but I don’t think it’s for me. I didn’t complete my project but I got far enough to realize I don’t think it’s my cup of tea. I may revisit it down the road.
  • Finished off wreath for a friend – I made a wreath for myself using pinterest tutorials, and a friend asked me to make one for them. It took me a while to figure out the right technique and to get things arranged just right. I am still learning and figuring things out, but I like the end result.

How did you spend your week between holidays? Hopefully you rested and relaxed and recharged. Let me know what you got up to during Veg Week. And definitely let me know if you’re watching or reading anything that I need to check out. Sometimes I feel like I have reached the end of everything on the streaming services.

Chat soon!

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Intentional Spending: Frugal vs. Cheap

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I’m in a facebook group for frugal living and a question came up regarding personal care spending.  The question went something like this: 

“Do you spend a lot for your shampoo?  I believe mine is making my hair fall out. “

The responses ranged from “do not skimp on caring for yourself” to “this could be related to something other than shampoo, such as thyroid issues or vitamin deficiencies.”  But the responses were consistently and unanimously on the side of not skimping on personal care items when choosing frugality could possibly cause you harm.

Obviously there’s no way for the internet congregation to know whether cheap shampoo is actually the cause of her issues, but assuming it is, then the group definitely sided with self-care over being cheap.

It made me realize that sometimes choosing a positive lifestyle choice, be it with your finances, your fitness or anything in between, being so extreme that it’s causing more harm than good is not the way to go.  While I can’t say that this is or isn’t the case for this particular person, there are many times that people put a goal over safety or good decision-making.  And that can be dangerous. 

I love being in groups sometimes because they do often bring out interesting discussions, and this group did bring up some pretty good points.  Here are some thinkable moments that came out of the discussion:

You only get one body.  Take care of it.  This should be a no-brainer but it’s a good mantra to keep in mind for so many reasons.  I know that I take my body for granted every single day.  And I need to stop that. 

Skimp in other areas so that you can pamper yourself and your body.  I think this is a great idea.  I have never been an every-two-weeks mani/pedi girl, and I don’t go to the hair salon often at all, but I do believe that you should figure out how to set aside money to pamper your body from time to time.  Massages, hair treatments, whatever is important to you…figure out how to incorporate it into your life in a way that makes sense financially.  Sinking funds or cash envelopes are a great way to budget for these items.

I don’t go to salons, but I buy nice quality items to give myself nice at-home hair treatments and manicures.  There are great products in the store that are affordable.  Figure out those great products that work for your hair and your skin.  Look for them when they are on sale, grab a coupon, or take advantage of specials.  And honestly, this is possibly a splurge area for me.  I have a face cream that I love, but I’ve also found a good store brand knock-off, so I alternate each time I purchase face cream:  one month cheap stuff, one month good stuff.  But for me, I’d rather spend the money to do upkeep versus spend a lot of money down the road trying to correct issues that could have been avoided. 

You should see a doctor/dermatologist/nutritionist/etc.  Let’s face it.  There are a lot of people who only go to the doctor if they are truly debilitated.  Things that are labeled as small, cosmetic, or discretionary are often overlooked until it spirals into a more serious issue.  I’m not sure if this is a frugal thing or not.  For some, it could be, but for others, it may be a hassle that just doesn’t rise to the occasion of a doctor’s appointment.  These “small” symptoms can often be the piece of a larger puzzle.  Squeeze those doctor’s appointments into your schedule.  They could be crucial for catching something before it’s too late.  Quick story which I plan to blog about later…a visit to the dermatologist for something I chalked up to my own vanity ended up catching a malignant tumor for me in November of this past year.  It wasn’t causing me pain, it was just annoying and I hated looking at it.  Even the dermatologist told me it was nothing, and said I didn’t have to do anything unless I wanted to.  And when it was removed and biopsied, the result was skin cancer.  So yeah, that’s my quick lesson about getting “little” things checked out. You just never know.

Try a different product. Many people in the group provided product suggestions.  Sometimes people feel like there’s only one product that works for them.  And while there’s no real way to tell if something that works for an internet stranger will also work for you, at least it does get you into thinking about other options.  Some people have been buying the same shampoo since the 90’s.  It’s routine and it’s comfortable.  But it could also be time to venture out to something new.  Our bodies change over time, hair included, and another product could be a better option for you.  Doing a little research and trial and error could be the answer.

I agreed with all of these points, but I question how frugal someone is living if it means that something as dramatic as hair loss still makes them question whether they should spend a few extra dollars.  In the days of extreme couponing and store discount cards, there are a lot of people that make big decisions based on price—even if the price difference is insignificantly small and does not justify buying the cheap product over the more expensive option. I shop based on price comparisons quite a bit, and a lot of times I regret skimping. 

Where do you stand on the issue? I have often times opted for cheap when I should have splurged, and vice versa. Sometimes it’s hard to know what is right, but I definitely feel like you should spend money when the cheap way is causing you harm.

What’s something you’re always cheap on? What do you always splurge for?

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My Spendless Saturday at the Library

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Last weekend I had no plans. I love weekends like that. Being able to just do whatever I feel like it, go wherever I feel like it, IF i feel like…that’s the epitome of relaxing for me.

So on Saturday when my boyfriend asked what I wanted to do, I had nothing really to suggest. The easiest answers to that question always seem to involve spending money for no reason, And with it being winter, like…below freezing winter…it’s not like I could pick some free outdoor activity. So an easy response usually is something like let’s go to Target, the outlets, Home Goods, or some random errand where money is involved. Or even something like going to Barnes & Noble, which is actually on my to-do list, would be entirely too tempting to not spend.

I considered a local farmers market because it’s not like we couldn’t use fresh veggies. But even with something like that, I could see me venturing to the candle seller or random crafter and feeling like I should support them by buying something I absolutely do not need. Which…I typically have no issues with and love to do, but…random purchases add up, and at the moment, I’m really trying to only spending intentionally.

I’m not one of those people that doesn’t believe in spending at all. But I have some financial priorities right now, and mindless spending just don’t fit in with those priorities.

So, we decided to go to our local library. I didn’t really have anything specific to do there but figured, I could work on some things on my laptop, see if any books caught my eye, and just be in a different space for a few hours. OMG, it was SUCH a nice time!

I picked a few books that seemed of interest, and I spent a little time with each book.

Here are the ones I looked through.

Single Tasking: Get More Done One Thing at a Time by Devora Zack: Everyone claims that multitasking is where it’s at. People put it on their resumes, in their cover letters, and scream it from the rooftop…”I’m a skilled multitasker!!!” But this author, and several studies, says that multitasking is actually not possible. What we all think is multitasking is actually task-switching, which is the act of moving very quickly between tasks, usually within tenths of a second, and we don’t consciously notice the delays. The author goes on to talk about how the brain is actually incapable of focusing on two (complex) things at once, and performance suffers when you task-switch back and forth between tasks. Though people are capable of doing a mindless task that requires no conscious effort along with a complex task, this is not typically what people mean when they claim to be multitaskers. The author goes on to discuss how single focusing on one task is actually far more productive and typically has a higher likelihood of error-free results.

The Millennial Whisperer: The Practical, Profit-Focused Playbook for Working With and Motivating the World’s Largest Generation by Chris Tuff: Whether we like it or not, time passes, people age, and the generation after us takes over the workforce. There is so much talk these days about millennials in the workforce and how their priorities and methods just don’t measure up to the generations before them. I can’t say for certain, but I’d imagine this happens every time there is a generational switch in the workplace. Millennials will make up 75% of the workforce by 2030, so it’s no surprise that the older generations have some things to say as the younger get added to the workforce and the older generation retires from it. This author delves into the misconceptions about the millennial generation (such as they are lazy, entitled, selfish, and disloyal) and explores some practical steps that employers and leaders can take to positively incorporate millennials into the workplace and provide them with an environment in which they can excel and thrive. Personally, I found this book fascinating. I am in a relationship where my partner is 15 years younger, thus being a millennial, and I’m a Gen X-er. Suffice it to say, we have some differences. So, this book gives some great perspectives on what motivates and inspires him, as well as gives me some noteworthy tools for getting along with my younger colleagues.

Do Less, Get More: How to Work Smart and Live Life Your Way by Sháá Wasmund: This book is all about getting out of your own way, which resonated with me. I’m a classic overthinker to the point of complete inaction sometimes and this book helped me understand what I should do about it. When it comes to blogging and business, and even at work, I think too much and let lack of confidence rule my decisions. And I HATE IT.!!! This author explores tools for ditching negative thoughts and things that do not get you to your end goal–which is living a life you love and deserve. She talks about fears (the fear of upsetting people, of regret, of failure, not being good enough…etc.) and explains how these thoughts are just distractions. The book includes some really good thought exercises, and I even went through a couple of them on my own.

These last four books are ones that I flipped through but ultimately decided that I wanted to spend more time with them, so I will either find them on my kindle, maybe buy them on ebay if I can find them for a cheap price, or get my library card situation resolved (I’m still a digital nomad so…not quite sure how to handle my address/card sitch right now, and the librarian didn’t seem to know either).

Forest Bathing: How Trees Can Help You Find Health and Happiness by Dr. Qing Li: I have heard of this concept before, and I find it really intriguing. This book is a therapeutic guide to the Japanese practice of shinrin-yoku, which is the art and science of how trees can promote health and happiness. I felt that this book would be better suited for me as an audiobook, or maybe as something to explore when I had a little more time to singularly focus on the material. However, the concept of forest bathing is that by immersing yourself in nature in a mindful way, you will use your senses to derive a whole range of benefits for your physical, mental, emotional, and social health. I definitely get a whole feeling of mindfulness and healing when I spend time in nature, and the idea of forest bathing seems like it ties in well with that thought.

You Got This!: Unleash Your Awesomeness, Find Your Path, and Change Your World by Maya S. Penn: This young lady is an inspiration to all. Starting off as a teen entrepreneur and now a motivational speaker doing TED talks and talk shows, I really want to hear what this young lady has to say about discovering my passions, and maximizing my full potential for a creative, successful life. This may make a good audiobook choice, or I may spend some time looking for her TED talks. I just didn’t want to reduce her message to snippets I skimmed through with no context, so I will put this on my list to look into further as time permits.

Simple Matters: Living with Less and Ending Up with More by Erin Boyle: It’s really interesting to me that, as I strive to lead a life of intentional spending and minimalism, the books I truly want to hold and own physical copies of are the ones that talk about minimalism. I really do not know why I’m like that but it’s super ironic, right?? Honestly, this book would make a really nice coffee table book, but…the whole point of trying to live with less is to not physically own things that do not suit a specific purpose. And what purpose does a coffee table book hold other than to be decorative? This author shares practical guidance and personal insights on small-space living and conscious consumption. And the key to living with less and not having a cluttered home is being conscious about the items you bring into your space, hence why I will try my best to not buy a physical copy of this book…but we will see…

New Minimalism: Decluttering and Design for Sustainable, Intentional Living by Cary Telander Fortin and Kyle Louise Quilici: This book has some really inspiring pictures, so I feel like this is a book best held and thumbed through in person. This book discusses interior design as it relates to intentional living and decluttering, and for some reason I feel like seeing pictures and visual encouragement will be better than just reading it on my kindle or borrowing it from the library. But whichever way I decide to read this book, I definitely did not want to rush through it, so I put it on my list of books to revisit when I have more time.

Have you been to the library lately? What do you do on days when you want to be spendless? I would love some suggestions!

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My Reading List: Bloganuary Entry #12

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Writing Prompt: What book is next on your reading list?

I really have slacked off with my book reading, and I should be absolutely embarrassed by this. I will never be one of those one-book-per-week kinda people because my free time is so little and the list of things I need to accomplish in my free time is extremely long. But that doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t read ever.

To make matters worse, I have an extremely short attention span, so I will pop onto a blog or read short articles or listen to a podcast when I do have some time to sit. But I have not been motivated to read a lengthy book in a while.

I have downloaded a few things that are ready to go on my kindle over the past few months, and I’ve also gotten some book recommendations that I’m dying to jump on. So in no particular order, I’ll go through what I like to read and what books are on my upcoming reading list.

What I like to read: In general, the types of books I love to read are going to either be smut, forbidden romance, LGBTQ smut and romance (which covers the previous two topics), and things that make me think or learn. There’s something about people powering through every reason they shouldn’t be together so that they can love and be loved. I also love a good sex scene. And I love trying to get my life together. So, the books that I read typically fit into those boxes.

When it comes to getting my life together, I absolutely love Brene Brown, Tony Robbins and authors similar to them. My boyfriend and I love to discuss these books because they help us keep a pulse on our thoughts, emotions and goals. I love to learn about business and social media, and I love lifestyle books that inspire me. I particularly love anything that covers intentional, simple, or minimalist living. I also love to learn different ways to organize and budget.

So without further ado, here are the six books that I’ve downloaded and/or plan to read in the near future:

Saint (Priest Book 3) by Sierra Simone: Smut smut smut. I already read books 1 and 2, so this one completes the trilogy.

Strictly Professional by Kathryn Nolan: more smut. I haven’t read this author yet, but I started following her on IG and FB, so her book is on my list.

A Way Home by Kiera Andrews: A gay Amish romance, and the third in a series. I loved the first two books so I’m excited to find out what’s next for the main characters.

The More of Less: Finding the Life You Want Under Everything You Own by Joshua Becker: This author is a master of living a minimilist life, which is something I’ve been interested in for quite some time. So I’m super interested to read his thoughts on the topic.

Down to Earth (a guide to simple living) by Rhonda Hetzel: This book is on my blogger friend, Rebekah’s, Book of the Month list. It seems right on par with my simple living interests.

Kakeibo: The Japanese Art of Saving Money by Fumiko Chiba: I am really intrigued by this concept of budgeting and intentional spending and saving. I feel like sometimes something that should be simple is made difficult, and I feel like the Japanese concept of budgeting, kakeibo, takes budgeting and pares it down into simple concepts. It’s essentially a minimalist and mindful approach to budgeting, and I’m intrigued.

So that’s my upcoming reading list. What types of things do you enjoy reading? Do you have any book recommendations? I’d love to hear about it!

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