My Spendless Saturday at the Library

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Last weekend I had no plans. I love weekends like that. Being able to just do whatever I feel like it, go wherever I feel like it, IF i feel like…that’s the epitome of relaxing for me.

So on Saturday when my boyfriend asked what I wanted to do, I had nothing really to suggest. The easiest answers to that question always seem to involve spending money for no reason, And with it being winter, like…below freezing winter…it’s not like I could pick some free outdoor activity. So an easy response usually is something like let’s go to Target, the outlets, Home Goods, or some random errand where money is involved. Or even something like going to Barnes & Noble, which is actually on my to-do list, would be entirely too tempting to not spend.

I considered a local farmers market because it’s not like we couldn’t use fresh veggies. But even with something like that, I could see me venturing to the candle seller or random crafter and feeling like I should support them by buying something I absolutely do not need. Which…I typically have no issues with and love to do, but…random purchases add up, and at the moment, I’m really trying to only spending intentionally.

I’m not one of those people that doesn’t believe in spending at all. But I have some financial priorities right now, and mindless spending just don’t fit in with those priorities.

So, we decided to go to our local library. I didn’t really have anything specific to do there but figured, I could work on some things on my laptop, see if any books caught my eye, and just be in a different space for a few hours. OMG, it was SUCH a nice time!

I picked a few books that seemed of interest, and I spent a little time with each book.

Here are the ones I looked through.

Single Tasking: Get More Done One Thing at a Time by Devora Zack: Everyone claims that multitasking is where it’s at. People put it on their resumes, in their cover letters, and scream it from the rooftop…”I’m a skilled multitasker!!!” But this author, and several studies, says that multitasking is actually not possible. What we all think is multitasking is actually task-switching, which is the act of moving very quickly between tasks, usually within tenths of a second, and we don’t consciously notice the delays. The author goes on to talk about how the brain is actually incapable of focusing on two (complex) things at once, and performance suffers when you task-switch back and forth between tasks. Though people are capable of doing a mindless task that requires no conscious effort along with a complex task, this is not typically what people mean when they claim to be multitaskers. The author goes on to discuss how single focusing on one task is actually far more productive and typically has a higher likelihood of error-free results.

The Millennial Whisperer: The Practical, Profit-Focused Playbook for Working With and Motivating the World’s Largest Generation by Chris Tuff: Whether we like it or not, time passes, people age, and the generation after us takes over the workforce. There is so much talk these days about millennials in the workforce and how their priorities and methods just don’t measure up to the generations before them. I can’t say for certain, but I’d imagine this happens every time there is a generational switch in the workplace. Millennials will make up 75% of the workforce by 2030, so it’s no surprise that the older generations have some things to say as the younger get added to the workforce and the older generation retires from it. This author delves into the misconceptions about the millennial generation (such as they are lazy, entitled, selfish, and disloyal) and explores some practical steps that employers and leaders can take to positively incorporate millennials into the workplace and provide them with an environment in which they can excel and thrive. Personally, I found this book fascinating. I am in a relationship where my partner is 15 years younger, thus being a millennial, and I’m a Gen X-er. Suffice it to say, we have some differences. So, this book gives some great perspectives on what motivates and inspires him, as well as gives me some noteworthy tools for getting along with my younger colleagues.

Do Less, Get More: How to Work Smart and Live Life Your Way by Sháá Wasmund: This book is all about getting out of your own way, which resonated with me. I’m a classic overthinker to the point of complete inaction sometimes and this book helped me understand what I should do about it. When it comes to blogging and business, and even at work, I think too much and let lack of confidence rule my decisions. And I HATE IT.!!! This author explores tools for ditching negative thoughts and things that do not get you to your end goal–which is living a life you love and deserve. She talks about fears (the fear of upsetting people, of regret, of failure, not being good enough…etc.) and explains how these thoughts are just distractions. The book includes some really good thought exercises, and I even went through a couple of them on my own.

These last four books are ones that I flipped through but ultimately decided that I wanted to spend more time with them, so I will either find them on my kindle, maybe buy them on ebay if I can find them for a cheap price, or get my library card situation resolved (I’m still a digital nomad so…not quite sure how to handle my address/card sitch right now, and the librarian didn’t seem to know either).

Forest Bathing: How Trees Can Help You Find Health and Happiness by Dr. Qing Li: I have heard of this concept before, and I find it really intriguing. This book is a therapeutic guide to the Japanese practice of shinrin-yoku, which is the art and science of how trees can promote health and happiness. I felt that this book would be better suited for me as an audiobook, or maybe as something to explore when I had a little more time to singularly focus on the material. However, the concept of forest bathing is that by immersing yourself in nature in a mindful way, you will use your senses to derive a whole range of benefits for your physical, mental, emotional, and social health. I definitely get a whole feeling of mindfulness and healing when I spend time in nature, and the idea of forest bathing seems like it ties in well with that thought.

You Got This!: Unleash Your Awesomeness, Find Your Path, and Change Your World by Maya S. Penn: This young lady is an inspiration to all. Starting off as a teen entrepreneur and now a motivational speaker doing TED talks and talk shows, I really want to hear what this young lady has to say about discovering my passions, and maximizing my full potential for a creative, successful life. This may make a good audiobook choice, or I may spend some time looking for her TED talks. I just didn’t want to reduce her message to snippets I skimmed through with no context, so I will put this on my list to look into further as time permits.

Simple Matters: Living with Less and Ending Up with More by Erin Boyle: It’s really interesting to me that, as I strive to lead a life of intentional spending and minimalism, the books I truly want to hold and own physical copies of are the ones that talk about minimalism. I really do not know why I’m like that but it’s super ironic, right?? Honestly, this book would make a really nice coffee table book, but…the whole point of trying to live with less is to not physically own things that do not suit a specific purpose. And what purpose does a coffee table book hold other than to be decorative? This author shares practical guidance and personal insights on small-space living and conscious consumption. And the key to living with less and not having a cluttered home is being conscious about the items you bring into your space, hence why I will try my best to not buy a physical copy of this book…but we will see…

New Minimalism: Decluttering and Design for Sustainable, Intentional Living by Cary Telander Fortin and Kyle Louise Quilici: This book has some really inspiring pictures, so I feel like this is a book best held and thumbed through in person. This book discusses interior design as it relates to intentional living and decluttering, and for some reason I feel like seeing pictures and visual encouragement will be better than just reading it on my kindle or borrowing it from the library. But whichever way I decide to read this book, I definitely did not want to rush through it, so I put it on my list of books to revisit when I have more time.

Have you been to the library lately? What do you do on days when you want to be spendless? I would love some suggestions!

My Reading List: Bloganuary Entry #12

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Writing Prompt: What book is next on your reading list?

I really have slacked off with my book reading, and I should be absolutely embarrassed by this. I will never be one of those one-book-per-week kinda people because my free time is so little and the list of things I need to accomplish in my free time is extremely long. But that doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t read ever.

To make matters worse, I have an extremely short attention span, so I will pop onto a blog or read short articles or listen to a podcast when I do have some time to sit. But I have not been motivated to read a lengthy book in a while.

I have downloaded a few things that are ready to go on my kindle over the past few months, and I’ve also gotten some book recommendations that I’m dying to jump on. So in no particular order, I’ll go through what I like to read and what books are on my upcoming reading list.

What I like to read: In general, the types of books I love to read are going to either be smut, forbidden romance, LGBTQ smut and romance (which covers the previous two topics), and things that make me think or learn. There’s something about people powering through every reason they shouldn’t be together so that they can love and be loved. I also love a good sex scene. And I love trying to get my life together. So, the books that I read typically fit into those boxes.

When it comes to getting my life together, I absolutely love Brene Brown, Tony Robbins and authors similar to them. My boyfriend and I love to discuss these books because they help us keep a pulse on our thoughts, emotions and goals. I love to learn about business and social media, and I love lifestyle books that inspire me. I particularly love anything that covers intentional, simple, or minimalist living. I also love to learn different ways to organize and budget.

So without further ado, here are the six books that I’ve downloaded and/or plan to read in the near future:

Saint (Priest Book 3) by Sierra Simone: Smut smut smut. I already read books 1 and 2, so this one completes the trilogy.

Strictly Professional by Kathryn Nolan: more smut. I haven’t read this author yet, but I started following her on IG and FB, so her book is on my list.

A Way Home by Kiera Andrews: A gay Amish romance, and the third in a series. I loved the first two books so I’m excited to find out what’s next for the main characters.

The More of Less: Finding the Life You Want Under Everything You Own by Joshua Becker: This author is a master of living a minimilist life, which is something I’ve been interested in for quite some time. So I’m super interested to read his thoughts on the topic.

Down to Earth (a guide to simple living) by Rhonda Hetzel: This book is on my blogger friend, Rebekah’s, Book of the Month list. It seems right on par with my simple living interests.

Kakeibo: The Japanese Art of Saving Money by Fumiko Chiba: I am really intrigued by this concept of budgeting and intentional spending and saving. I feel like sometimes something that should be simple is made difficult, and I feel like the Japanese concept of budgeting, kakeibo, takes budgeting and pares it down into simple concepts. It’s essentially a minimalist and mindful approach to budgeting, and I’m intrigued.

So that’s my upcoming reading list. What types of things do you enjoy reading? Do you have any book recommendations? I’d love to hear about it!

Someone I admire: Bloganuary Entry #5

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This is a really hard prompt because there are truly inspirational and admirable people everywhere. But it’s pretty fair to say that most of the people I admire are women. And even more specifically, they are women in my family. You can close your eyes and pick pretty much any one of them, and you will find someone who has set and amazing example of being a good mother, sister, aunt, matriarch, trailblazer, free thinker, supporter, etc. It is truly hard, no…impossible, to pick only one person to write about. And frfr, I don’t want to poke the hornet’s nest of picking out just one person.

So instead of picking one particular person that I admire, let me tell you five traits that I find are common in the many people I admire.

They choose kindness. Every woman in my family has been through something. And yet they are all the sweetest, kindest people on the whole planet. Yes, I said the whole entire planet!

They stand up for themselves and for others. They all do it in different ways. Ranging from timid and subtle to brazen and spitfire, they have their own approaches, but they speak up. And their approaches are actually quite fascinating. I’ve noticed that there’s a time and a place for each method, and I’ve even used some myself.

Despite obstacles, they persevere. Life is clearly full of challenges. Being able to face those challenges, no matter how big or small, and come out ahead is no easy feat. Watching the women in my life tackle challenges and come out being better and stronger is so powerful and encouraging. They tackle motherhood and marriages and the workforce and entrepreneurship, and of course all of the daily nuances that life can present. Being able to watch them face challenges and persevere gives me so much strength in my own life.

Through actions or through words, they impart wisdom. There is a takeaway from every encounter. Whether it’s a recipe, a history lesson, a mantra about life, a tip for the daily struggle, or a lesson in what not to do, there’s always something to learn.

They love hard. There is never any question about who they love and how much they love them. They express it in their actions and with their words. Often. And without shame.

It may be hard to pick one or even three top people that you admire. But do you notice a commonality among people that make your list? I’d love to hear what you admire about the people you admire!

I wish I knew how to: Bloganuary Entry #4

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Life is about constantly learning. I truly enjoy learning new things, and I seek knowledge, no matter how small. I love that there are so many ways to learn right at my fingertips, thanks to my friend the internet. Whether I’m learning a craft, a recipe, a computer trick, or a dance class, I feel like it’s good to be constantly open to learning.

I love finding random tutorials on pinterest, and I love taking advantage of online resources. I’m currently making my way through a Life Coaching course and hopefully I will finish that in the coming months *fingers crossed*, and I’ve done a few ecommerce courses over the past year that were really interesting.

But if I had to pick one thing that I wish I knew it would be that I wish I knew how to change a flat tire. Of course, there’s a million reasons why this is a good, practical, and important skill to have. I don’t like the idea of being stranded, vulnerable, or possibly in a dangerous situation over something that I could fix myself if I have to. Because tires rarely announce in advance that they plan to go flat, the sooner I know how to do this, the bigger relief this will be for me. So it’s on my 2022 learning list for sure.

But on a smaller scale, here three things I’ve learned to do recently by using online resources:

Fabric Stamping: I follow an artist on IG that uses random items to stamp fabric, and she then uses the fabrics to make bags. I have been mesmerized by her process and thought I could try something similar. So I looked around on pinterest for tutorials and tried my hand at it. Using some remnants from Joann’s, some fabric paint, a straw, and a plastic fork, I created these masterpieces. I thought this was fun, and it’s such an easy way to decorate a space. I also plan to try this on some tea towels. It could make a really cute gift idea, and there are so many different possibilities.









Ceramics: To stay sane during the pandemic, I definitely turned to crafts. One thing I found cute and interesting was clay. Trinket dishes, earrings, and wine charms…I tried them all. I tried both air dry clay as well as clay that you bake in the oven. Here’s one of the many tutorials that I played around with and here are a few of my results.

Beading: I love making my own accessories, so when I stumbled across some posts for making beaded jewelry, I became obsessed! And again, the pandemic caused lots and lots of time isolated in the house, so this was a wonderful creative outlet. Several hundred dollars later (oy!), and I have bags and bags and bags of beaded bracelets to show for it. Here’s one blogger that gives a good bracelet tutorial and below are a few of my results:

What do you like learning? What’s the last thing you learned or taught yourself to do?

What Drake Can Teach Us About Knowing Our Worth

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Rapper/singer/actor/and overall hottie Drake, announced that he was removing himself from consideration for his two Grammy nominations. While he didn’t give a specific reason for the withdrawal, his history with the Grammy’s may provide a little insight.

In the past, Drake has openly criticized the institution of the Grammy’s. He has said that the Grammy’s are an “opinion-based sport, not a factual-based sport.” In essence, winners are determined by someone’s judgment of them. And according to Drake, what does the judging body of the Grammy’s know about a biracial guy from Canada or, for that matter, a Spanish girl from New York? How can they relate to what people of different experiences and backgrounds have to say and the manner in which they say it?

The whole idea of this is intriguing to me. As an introvert who feels some type a way in front of crowds and in front of people I don’t know, and even in front of people that I know very well, feeling judged and fearing judgment is just part of my life. I unfortunately find myself deeply concerned by the opinion of others, even though I know very well that their opinions should not matter and do not pay my bills.

Now, I do realize that a certain IDGAF-ness may come with having millions in the bank and screaming, adoring fans wherever you go. The average person may not have traveling hype-men at their beck and call like Drizzy. But…he did not always have those things. I’m sure he got a lot of flack back during his Degrassi days, and I’m sure he could have let people’s negativity and criticism kill his dreams. He could have easily given up at any point, taken the safe route, gone to college, gotten a desk job, and spent the rest his days talking to his colleagues and friends about all of the “what-if’s” that “if I had only’s”. He could have just settled for the “easy” 9-5 life.

Somewhere along the way, HE decided that HE will not be judged and that the opinion of those that didn’t matter, well…didn’t matter.

At some point, Drake decided to stop acting and focus on rap, and I’m sure somebody somewhere was extremely vocal about what an insane move they felt that was. But yet, here he is– arguably one of the top rappers/musical entertainers of this generation. He knew his worth, he had the confidence to go for it, and he won’t stand by and be judged by people who he feels don’t matter.

“Nobody understood

what it was like to be

black and Jewish…

being different from everyone else

just made me a lot stronger.”

– Drake

I’m not really sure how we should go about getting out of our own way. Our own self-limiting beliefs are damaging enough. But then, for many people, they are compounded by other people’s judgment and limitations of us. And I’m not really sure how we go about ignoring them and powering through.

So while I don’t have answers, I do have mantras, affirmations, and empowering thoughts. So here we go…

  • Rule #1: F*ck what they think.
  • Other people’s opinions of me do not pay a single bill in my household.
  • Other people’s limitations of me are an expression of their limited mindsets and their lack of confidence in themselves.
  • I believe in myself, and I trust my ability to do great things.
  • I am strong in ways I haven’t acknowledged.
  • Don’t give people so much power over you that their silence leaves you questioning your worth
  • Their silence may be a reflection of their own shortcomings and insecurities because they see you doing big things
  • A woman who knows what she brings to the table isn’t afraid to eat alone.
  • You can’t knock a girl off a pedestal she built herself.
  • You will never influence the world by trying to be like it.
  • A girl who is going to do big things cannot let small things or small people get to her.
  • The woman who does not require validation from anyone is the most feared individual on the planet.
  • Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes it’s that little voice at the end of the day that says I’ll try again tomorrow.
  • Hustle until your haters ask if you’re hiring.

And if you want a few motivating quotes from Drizzy himself, here are a few of those…

  • When writing the story of your life, don’t let anyone else hold the pen
  • Haters are just confused admirers
  • Kill them with sucess and bury them with a smile
  • I was born to make mistakes, not to fake perfection
  • It’s never too late to realize what you want in life, and it’s never wrong to fight for it

How do you deal with other people’s judgments and opinions? How do you power through and stay focused on your own goals and desires? Do you have any mantras or thoughts that work for you?