Category: professional development

My Spendless Saturday at the Library

Photo by Christina Morillo on Pexels.com

Last weekend I had no plans. I love weekends like that. Being able to just do whatever I feel like it, go wherever I feel like it, IF i feel like…that’s the epitome of relaxing for me.

So on Saturday when my boyfriend asked what I wanted to do, I had nothing really to suggest. The easiest answers to that question always seem to involve spending money for no reason, And with it being winter, like…below freezing winter…it’s not like I could pick some free outdoor activity. So an easy response usually is something like let’s go to Target, the outlets, Home Goods, or some random errand where money is involved. Or even something like going to Barnes & Noble, which is actually on my to-do list, would be entirely too tempting to not spend.

I considered a local farmers market because it’s not like we couldn’t use fresh veggies. But even with something like that, I could see me venturing to the candle seller or random crafter and feeling like I should support them by buying something I absolutely do not need. Which…I typically have no issues with and love to do, but…random purchases add up, and at the moment, I’m really trying to only spending intentionally.

I’m not one of those people that doesn’t believe in spending at all. But I have some financial priorities right now, and mindless spending just don’t fit in with those priorities.

So, we decided to go to our local library. I didn’t really have anything specific to do there but figured, I could work on some things on my laptop, see if any books caught my eye, and just be in a different space for a few hours. OMG, it was SUCH a nice time!

I picked a few books that seemed of interest, and I spent a little time with each book.

Here are the ones I looked through.

Single Tasking: Get More Done One Thing at a Time by Devora Zack: Everyone claims that multitasking is where it’s at. People put it on their resumes, in their cover letters, and scream it from the rooftop…”I’m a skilled multitasker!!!” But this author, and several studies, says that multitasking is actually not possible. What we all think is multitasking is actually task-switching, which is the act of moving very quickly between tasks, usually within tenths of a second, and we don’t consciously notice the delays. The author goes on to talk about how the brain is actually incapable of focusing on two (complex) things at once, and performance suffers when you task-switch back and forth between tasks. Though people are capable of doing a mindless task that requires no conscious effort along with a complex task, this is not typically what people mean when they claim to be multitaskers. The author goes on to discuss how single focusing on one task is actually far more productive and typically has a higher likelihood of error-free results.

The Millennial Whisperer: The Practical, Profit-Focused Playbook for Working With and Motivating the World’s Largest Generation by Chris Tuff: Whether we like it or not, time passes, people age, and the generation after us takes over the workforce. There is so much talk these days about millennials in the workforce and how their priorities and methods just don’t measure up to the generations before them. I can’t say for certain, but I’d imagine this happens every time there is a generational switch in the workplace. Millennials will make up 75% of the workforce by 2030, so it’s no surprise that the older generations have some things to say as the younger get added to the workforce and the older generation retires from it. This author delves into the misconceptions about the millennial generation (such as they are lazy, entitled, selfish, and disloyal) and explores some practical steps that employers and leaders can take to positively incorporate millennials into the workplace and provide them with an environment in which they can excel and thrive. Personally, I found this book fascinating. I am in a relationship where my partner is 15 years younger, thus being a millennial, and I’m a Gen X-er. Suffice it to say, we have some differences. So, this book gives some great perspectives on what motivates and inspires him, as well as gives me some noteworthy tools for getting along with my younger colleagues.

Do Less, Get More: How to Work Smart and Live Life Your Way by Sháá Wasmund: This book is all about getting out of your own way, which resonated with me. I’m a classic overthinker to the point of complete inaction sometimes and this book helped me understand what I should do about it. When it comes to blogging and business, and even at work, I think too much and let lack of confidence rule my decisions. And I HATE IT.!!! This author explores tools for ditching negative thoughts and things that do not get you to your end goal–which is living a life you love and deserve. She talks about fears (the fear of upsetting people, of regret, of failure, not being good enough…etc.) and explains how these thoughts are just distractions. The book includes some really good thought exercises, and I even went through a couple of them on my own.

These last four books are ones that I flipped through but ultimately decided that I wanted to spend more time with them, so I will either find them on my kindle, maybe buy them on ebay if I can find them for a cheap price, or get my library card situation resolved (I’m still a digital nomad so…not quite sure how to handle my address/card sitch right now, and the librarian didn’t seem to know either).

Forest Bathing: How Trees Can Help You Find Health and Happiness by Dr. Qing Li: I have heard of this concept before, and I find it really intriguing. This book is a therapeutic guide to the Japanese practice of shinrin-yoku, which is the art and science of how trees can promote health and happiness. I felt that this book would be better suited for me as an audiobook, or maybe as something to explore when I had a little more time to singularly focus on the material. However, the concept of forest bathing is that by immersing yourself in nature in a mindful way, you will use your senses to derive a whole range of benefits for your physical, mental, emotional, and social health. I definitely get a whole feeling of mindfulness and healing when I spend time in nature, and the idea of forest bathing seems like it ties in well with that thought.

You Got This!: Unleash Your Awesomeness, Find Your Path, and Change Your World by Maya S. Penn: This young lady is an inspiration to all. Starting off as a teen entrepreneur and now a motivational speaker doing TED talks and talk shows, I really want to hear what this young lady has to say about discovering my passions, and maximizing my full potential for a creative, successful life. This may make a good audiobook choice, or I may spend some time looking for her TED talks. I just didn’t want to reduce her message to snippets I skimmed through with no context, so I will put this on my list to look into further as time permits.

Simple Matters: Living with Less and Ending Up with More by Erin Boyle: It’s really interesting to me that, as I strive to lead a life of intentional spending and minimalism, the books I truly want to hold and own physical copies of are the ones that talk about minimalism. I really do not know why I’m like that but it’s super ironic, right?? Honestly, this book would make a really nice coffee table book, but…the whole point of trying to live with less is to not physically own things that do not suit a specific purpose. And what purpose does a coffee table book hold other than to be decorative? This author shares practical guidance and personal insights on small-space living and conscious consumption. And the key to living with less and not having a cluttered home is being conscious about the items you bring into your space, hence why I will try my best to not buy a physical copy of this book…but we will see…

New Minimalism: Decluttering and Design for Sustainable, Intentional Living by Cary Telander Fortin and Kyle Louise Quilici: This book has some really inspiring pictures, so I feel like this is a book best held and thumbed through in person. This book discusses interior design as it relates to intentional living and decluttering, and for some reason I feel like seeing pictures and visual encouragement will be better than just reading it on my kindle or borrowing it from the library. But whichever way I decide to read this book, I definitely did not want to rush through it, so I put it on my list of books to revisit when I have more time.

Have you been to the library lately? What do you do on days when you want to be spendless? I would love some suggestions!

justamarylandgirlLeave a comment

My Labor Day Thoughts

Labor Day Thoughts, black woman at desk
Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

Another Labor Day weekend has come and gone. I never really give much thought to Labor Day and what it means. I typically just bid farewell to the summer and enjoy the long weekend. But today I decided to at least reflect on the day a little, and what it means.

Labor Day, in summary, is a day that honors the labor force in the U.S. And of course labor means work, and work means jobs. Even though there’s some historical background to the day, overall it’s pretty cut and dry. People work, and this day shows appreciation for that.

But nowdays, we are in this time and space where mindsets are shifting. People are looking beyond the traditional 9 to 5 to seek fulfillment and they are setting up multiple revenue streams. People are using their talents to make money in ways that weren’t even thought of 10 or 20 years ago…and honey, I. LOVE. IT.

The world has more entrepreneurs, creatives, influencers, life coaches, financial coaches, bloggers, app developers, and first-generation business owners than any time before. People are using their genuine interests, their personal experiences, their education, and their God-given talents to start businesses, supplement income, and change their lives in dramatic ways. It’s inspiring. It’s motivating.

It’s also the reason for a lot of pressure.

Everyone’s doing it, and if they aren’t, they feel like they should be. People feel like they, too, should be blogging, influencing, working day, night and weekends for a side hustle…and the truth is, it just isn’t everyone’s idea of happiness. But the internet, the gram, and the blogs…have people feeling like if they aren’t “leveling up”, if they aren’t creating multiple streams of income, if they aren’t constantly on their grind, creating content, developing branding, doing product research…working towards independence and entrepreneurship, they are somehow lacking.

Personally, I have a lot of varied interests, and my day job just doesn’t fulfill all of my needs. For that reason, I have hobbies, and I have things that I’ve turned to as a way to make additional income. My side interests have turned into side businesses, and I do hope that they continue to grow and prosper.

But I do them because I love doing them. I’m not relying on it to put a roof over my head or to put food in my fridge. I do them because, whether I make money or not, I truly actually enjoy the things I do outside of my traditional job. They fill a void that my 9 to 5 doesn’t fill. They serve as an outlet for me. But maybe someday, that will change. Maybe my side hustles will pan out for me one day, and I’ll be able to live completely off the money generated from my businesses. That would be great. But I am also really into my “regular job” and I think that’s ok as well.

Let’s face it–everyone is not meant to, nor desires to be, an entrepreneur. Not everyone wants a side hustle. Not everyone has that hatred for the establishment. Some people truly and genuinely enjoy their 9 to 5.

Not every “regular job” is terrible. Everyone doesn’t view working for an employer as working for “the man”. Some people truly like their colleagues and they like whatever security they have in their 9 to 5. They like having a paycheck that hits their account reliably and predictably, a benefits package that suits their lifestyle, job expectations that are communicated, a mission that they want to be a part of…being able to feed their families, secure a mortgage, and take vacations without stressing about making payroll, covering expenses, and creating social media content. Millions of people live and love this life. And that is ok.

I think it is time we stop shaming people for not desiring the life of an entrepreneur. Or rather, stop shaming people who like their life, whatever it is, just because it’s not the life that YOU want for yourself. This world needs all kinds to make it go-round. And we need to get out of the habit of shaming people for playing the role that they want to play in the world.

I think we need to all agree that everyone makes their own decisions for their own personal reasons, and we need to focus on our own decisions and why we make them. Make the best decision for your life, be it an entrepreneur, a part of the labor force, or a combination of both. And let’s not worry about putting our work expectations on other people.

What are your thoughts on Labor Day? Or do you not even think about it? Lol. No shame here!

justamarylandgirlLeave a comment

7 Steps to Overcome Roadblocks

I recently found myself at a crossroad. 

I knew I wanted to accomplish a certain goal, and the way to accomplish this goal was to use this specific application.  The issue for me was 1) I didn’t understand what this application was; 2) I didn’t understand how this application fit into the overall process of what I already knew; and 3) I didn’t know how to use or implement this application. 

To add to the obstacle, in order to play around with and learn this application, it would cost money.  No free trials here. So I would have to pay money just to figure out what the application was was and how to use it, before I actually even implemented it.  So in addition to my lack of knowledge, I would also have to spend money.  In my budget-DIY world of learning and business, it just wasn’t checking the right boxes for me.

Overall, these items ultimately became my stopping point.  Instead of figuring it all out, I just shut down and did nothing. 

For about a year. 

Lazy + Cheap = Absolutely no movement towards my goal. For a year.

That. Is. Ridiculous.

In the meantime, I tried other variants of actions.  Low scale, small results type actions that helped me learn a little and earn just as little.  But ultimately did NOT get me to where I had been striving to get.

SO now here I am again, a year later, realizing that, in order to advance to the goal that I set, I have to learn this application and implement what I learn.  I finally said to myself…LEARN THE D*MN APPLICATION!!!! 

Like…am I going to risk just not accomplishing my goals because of this ONE thing I don’t understand???  Chick…are you actually serious???  NO!  I did not come this far to let something so small be the reason I don’t accomplish my goals.

So I got out of my own way.  I googled some articles, read some manuals, and got to work!  And in literally one evening, I made more progress than I made in a year. Now I’m well on my way to being able to implement the knowledge and hopefully also well on my way to accomplishing the goal I set for myself. And ultimately on my way to MAKING MORE MONEY!! KA-CHING!

Please tell me I am not alone.  Do you ever find yourself immobile because you just cannot find the energy, strength, or money to figure out how to progress forward?  I’m going to assume I’m not alone with this.  (Please tell me I’m not alone!)

If you are like me, and find yourself stuck, I want to help.  Because being stuck sucks.  Especially when you’re stuck because of your own self.  So here are seven steps that helped me get going. You can use these when you find yourself at a mental roadblock and are unsure how to move forward.

  1. Envision what you want.  Be clear.  What does success on the other side of this blockage look like?  What specifically will you be/have/do once you clear this hurdle?  Is it a financial accomplishment?  Health?  Education?  Envision yourself in your new home, finishing that marathon, wearing that bikini, or writing that new accomplishment on your resume.  Visualize clearly.  Let that be your motivation.
  2. Identify the specific action or thing that is preventing you from moving forward.  The action may be something big or it may be small.  Do you have to pass a test?  Are you unable to find time?  Do you not quite understand one thing, and that one thing holds the key to bigger things?  Write down the one, or the few things, that are keeping you from accomplishing the goal ahead. 
  3. Note the specific reason that this action is difficult to tackle.  Dig even deeper and get to the root. Are you unable to study because you don’t feel like it?  Is there one thing in the material that requires explanation?  Do you not have time because you have to work, take care of children, and find time to rest?  Are you not sure which method of moving forward is the best option for you and now have analysis paralysis?
  4. Write down a list of ways that you could clear that obstacle.  Is there someone you could ask for help?  Is there a website online that may have an answer?  Do you need someone to babysit?  Are you hesitant to spend money?  Can you research the best option online?  Do you need to speak to someone about their experience?  What specifically will help you overcome this obstacle? Write down one way, or a couple of options for clearing this obstacle.
  5. Designate a specific start time.  Look at your calendar, figure out your upcoming schedule.  Pick a time that you will start devoting to your action.  If your action is researching options, pick a time that you will sit down and begin your research.  You may not hammer it all out in one sitting, but if you don’t make a plan and set aside time, that time will pass and you will be no further along. 
  6. Be intentional.  Even if you only have 20 minutes of solid time this week to devote, make that time as productive as you possibly can make it.  Turn off distractions, put your phone down, have your note-taking devices prepared. Make that time count.
  7. Designate a specific time for your foreseeable sessions.  If you know that you have an hour before the kids get off the bus, let that be your specific time going forward.  If you’re working on losing weight, have your sneakers, sports bra, headphones and gear set out and ready.  When that hour approaches, you can jump to action as soon as it hits. No excuses. No fetching. Get to it.

What I’ve noticed is that each small action snowballs into the next action.  Getting started helped me to gather the momentum to keep going. 

Once you hit the brakes on a plan, you just have to figure out how to get going again. Get unstuck and keep moving!  Don’t dismiss how important this goal is to you and your future. Your goal is important and you are worth the effort!

Do you have any tips to add? Anything work for you that I haven’t mentioned? Let me know your thoughts on roadblocks!

justamarylandgirl

My Sermon Notes for Goal Setting

This week, I heard a wonderful sermon. If you’re like me, the best sermons are those that give you immediate action items, or contain a message that you can immediately apply to your life. If you’re also like me, the sermon doesn’t have to be overly-religious and doctrine-heavy for it to touch you right in your soul.

A quick little backstory. I attended a ceremony this weekend because my uncle was installed as the pastor of a small church on Saturday. It’s been a looooong road and it was only further complicated by restrictions related to COVID. But after a multi-year process, he was selected, relocated from overseas, and installed this weekend.

So as you can imagine, it was a really joyous occasion. There were quite a few speakers, and one pastor spoke a message that I had to actually whip out my notebook and jot down notes about. It was motivating and relevant in so many ways, particularly when it comes to me and my goals. So here’s my take-away from that sermon, and how I plan to relate each point to my goals this week.

1 | Do Not Look Back

When you look back, you have to take your eyes off of your target. Taking your eyes off your target keeps you from moving forward. The best way to continue progressing towards your goals is to use the knowledge gained from your past to propel you forward, but do not dwell on what is done. Keep focused on the target you’ve set, and maintain that forward progress.

2 | Look to the East

This one hit me particularly hard. I am past my quarter-life crisis, and haven’t quite hit my mid-life crisis, but there are times I feel like life is passing me by. While I know there is *hopefully* a lot of life to live, I also know I’m no spring chicken. It can sometimes feel like setting new goals is pointless. But this sermon reiterated that no matter how many sunsets have passed, new goals and adventures await. Instead of looking to the west at sunsets past, look to the east for new horizons. No matter what age or what station you are in in life, there is work to be done, goals to be set, missions to be accomplished. It’s very important not to lose sight of that.

3 | Stretch Forward

We all do this. We all question our decisions. We question how we got here. We question if we’re doing the right thing and we worry about what we did wrong. Like a runner about to cross the finish line, it doesn’t matter how you started the race; what’s important is how you finish. Fix your eyes on where you want to go, set your sights on your goal, and stretch towards the finish line. Don’t give up. Finish the race.

Whew! When I tell you this message hit me in my soul, IT HIT ME IN MY SOUL!!! I did not really expect anything more than a few church formalities this weekend. And quite honestly, the sermon was not even for me. It was a motivation speech directed towards my uncle from a pastor mentor of his. But I could not have been more motivated and more blessed by his encouraging words. I was ready to run home and start planning! Of course I couldn’t–I still had family duties. lol. But I definitely jotted down thoughts for later.

Do you take notes during sermons? Or do you absorb the word in real time. I struggle between being present mentally during sermons or making sure I don’t forget what was said so that I can review and reflect on it later. Somehow I always wind up reaching for my notebook to take notes. Maybe one day I’ll try to keep it all in my head. These tidbits were too good to risk forgetting.

justamarylandgirl

10 Take-Aways from Speed Mentoring Event

What it's like being on furlough (1)

I felt anxious and unsure when I was invited to attend a speed-mentoring event at work last week.  Yes, an opportunity to sit down with my agency’s leaders sounds great, but the thought of saying something stupid…or not saying anything at all…made my pressure rise.  Is this going to feel like an interview?  EEEK!

The large conference room was set up with four tables.  At each table was a senior leader at my agency and four mentees.  Each leader had a topic that they’d speak about to their mentee group for 15 minutes, and then we’d then have five minutes for Q&A and discussion.  After time was up, the mentees would rotate to the next leader.  The four topics were:

  • Self-Marketing:  How do I (the employee) make myself known without being annoying?
  • Innovation & Technology:  Where is the agency heading and how do I (the employee) fit in?
  • Political Savvy: How do I negotiate with senior leadership?
  • A Picture of Success: What does it take to move up the ranks, and what strategies are needed to overcome challenges along the way?

I made some notes and prepared some questions in advance, just in case nothing came to mind as the sessions were going on.  I prefer a more organic conversation, so I was a little nervous because I knew my questions sounded canned and prepped.  But that’s better than having nothing and risking brain freeze in the face of leadership.

The event went so much better than I expected.  The conversation flowed effortlessly, the topics were really interesting, and I actually had to force myself not to interrupt other mentees in my group when they asked their questions.  I struggled between furiously taking notes because so much good advice was given, and trying to listen and converse with the group.

So here are my top ten take-aways from the speed mentoring event:

  1. Order business cards ASAP.
  2. Make yourself both visible and vital to leadership.
  3. Say something in every meeting, and have an interest in what you say or ask.
  4. Attend social events, brown bags, or workgroup presentations.
  5. Say thank you if your supervisor approves training, and then follow up after the training to say what you learned from the course.
  6. Push yourself to talk to people you know by sight but have never spoken to.
  7. Understand how your organization operates and how decisions are made.
  8. Take note of who sits where in meetings and who speaks up first.  Also note if your manager or leader looks to someone else for input when questions are asked of him/her.
  9. Identify parts of your job that can lead to an innovative solution.  Tasks that take up a huge amount of time and have a lot of repetition may be able to be automated.
  10. Take time to master emotional intelligence and self awareness.

If you have an opportunity to attend events like this at your organization, I strongly encourage you to attend, even if you are happy with where you are, you don’t see the immediate benefit, or if you are a bag of nerves.  The tips and strategies discussed in this event helped put me in front of leaders I may not otherwise have had exposure to, and also gave me food for thought for my own personal aspirations, both in and out of the workplace.

Have you ever done anything like this?  What did you take away from the experience?

tata for now -m- (2)

justamarylandgirl