Category: resolution

I Created Habits Instead of Resolutions

Photo by Miesha Renae Maiden on Pexels.com

I did not make any resolutions this year. Honestly, it just feels so phony for me to do it. I know myself very well and I know that creating this new version of myself on the 1st of the year, with lofty goals and dreams of perfection, is just not realistic or honest.

I will not miraculously start doing things that I’ve never done in the past, and that I have not taken the time to create a pathway of success for.

I didn’t create a vision board, because honestly, for me, it’s just cool pictures and no action plan.

But I did say to myself that I’d like to do better with my finances this year, I’d like to not wake up super hung over after happy hours, and I’d love to stop relying so much on coffee. I decided to try out some new habits, I didn’t set any timelines or expectations, and I just decided to see if I liked these things and if they were things I wanted to continue doing.

So long as I like doing them, I will continue to do them. If I decide that they no longer serve me or that they are of no interest to me, I will stop. I am not going to pressure myself about any of it.

Here are six things I have tried in January, that have now become regular habits.

  • Balance my checkbook daily: How old school can I get, right? I’ve tried various ways to track my finances over the years. I’ve used various excel spreadsheets and I’ve used a planners and paper, but I still felt like I was sort of caught off guard by some payments that came out of my account. I wanted to get back to entering purchases and bills into my bank register, and reconciling the difference with the amount in my account. For me, there is power in looking at my account in this way every single day. Every day, it got easier to go through the reconciliation process. And then it became something that I couldn’t wait to do each night. So now it’s just part of my nighttime routine, just like brushing my teeth and taking my medications.
  • Not drinking alcohol: I went into this one knowing that it would not be a forever habit. Lately I have noticed that my body was not springing back after happy hour the way it had always done. I noticed I was not sleeping well on nights when I drank, and I was starting to make some bad decisions when I was drinking. Nothing super major, just maybe saying things I wouldn’t otherwise say, or being a little more rambunctious than I would prefer. So I decided to stop drinking for a while, and then make a decision about the relationship I want to have with alcohol going forward. So for now, drinking is on a pause for me. I have been leaning on mocktails, apple juice and ginger beer when I do go out, though I did have some wine this week.
  • Drinking tea instead of coffee: I had already managed to scale back to decaf coffee with zero sugar creamer a few months ago. This was already a huge step for me. But for January, I gave up coffee all together. This was actually not an intentional habit, but I got sick the first week of January and drank tea during that time. Once I got better, I did not go back to coffee, and surprisingly, I’m actually ok with it. So I believe this is a habit I will stick with. My daily hot beverage will be tea, and I will have coffee occasionally when I’m in the mood for it.
  • Listening to podcasts: I finally took the plunge and found some podcasts that interest me. I’ve now found intentional space in my day for podcasts. I have found a few podcasts that I absolutely love ranging from budgeting to mindfulness to true crime stories. I feel motivated to take action or inspired to think differently about something every time I listen. They really give me food for thought, or at the very least, I get some entertainment out of it.
  • Taking walks: At some point in January, I realized that neighborhood walks were the perfect time to listen to podcasts. So I started really looking forward to daily walks just so I could zone out and listen to podcasts. The walks aren’t anything major–usually about 20 minutes or so, and about a mile and some change. I don’t walk super fast, and I didn’t start off with any sort of fitness expectations. I just wanted to get out of the house, get some sun on my face, and get some fresh air into my lungs. But in January, I really leaned into the activity, and I decided to challenge myself to walk 30 miles in February.
  • Attending church (virtually): A local church was recommended to me, so I decided to attend virtually in January. I truly enjoy it and I take so many notes during each sermon. And I even refer back to them throughout the week. I love having practical action items and I love feeling like I am taking steps to being a better person.

Did you make any resolutions this year? How are they going for you?

justamarylandgirl2 Comments

7 Steps to Overcome Roadblocks

I recently found myself at a crossroad. 

I knew I wanted to accomplish a certain goal, and the way to accomplish this goal was to use this specific application.  The issue for me was 1) I didn’t understand what this application was; 2) I didn’t understand how this application fit into the overall process of what I already knew; and 3) I didn’t know how to use or implement this application. 

To add to the obstacle, in order to play around with and learn this application, it would cost money.  No free trials here. So I would have to pay money just to figure out what the application was was and how to use it, before I actually even implemented it.  So in addition to my lack of knowledge, I would also have to spend money.  In my budget-DIY world of learning and business, it just wasn’t checking the right boxes for me.

Overall, these items ultimately became my stopping point.  Instead of figuring it all out, I just shut down and did nothing. 

For about a year. 

Lazy + Cheap = Absolutely no movement towards my goal. For a year.

That. Is. Ridiculous.

In the meantime, I tried other variants of actions.  Low scale, small results type actions that helped me learn a little and earn just as little.  But ultimately did NOT get me to where I had been striving to get.

SO now here I am again, a year later, realizing that, in order to advance to the goal that I set, I have to learn this application and implement what I learn.  I finally said to myself…LEARN THE D*MN APPLICATION!!!! 

Like…am I going to risk just not accomplishing my goals because of this ONE thing I don’t understand???  Chick…are you actually serious???  NO!  I did not come this far to let something so small be the reason I don’t accomplish my goals.

So I got out of my own way.  I googled some articles, read some manuals, and got to work!  And in literally one evening, I made more progress than I made in a year. Now I’m well on my way to being able to implement the knowledge and hopefully also well on my way to accomplishing the goal I set for myself. And ultimately on my way to MAKING MORE MONEY!! KA-CHING!

Please tell me I am not alone.  Do you ever find yourself immobile because you just cannot find the energy, strength, or money to figure out how to progress forward?  I’m going to assume I’m not alone with this.  (Please tell me I’m not alone!)

If you are like me, and find yourself stuck, I want to help.  Because being stuck sucks.  Especially when you’re stuck because of your own self.  So here are seven steps that helped me get going. You can use these when you find yourself at a mental roadblock and are unsure how to move forward.

  1. Envision what you want.  Be clear.  What does success on the other side of this blockage look like?  What specifically will you be/have/do once you clear this hurdle?  Is it a financial accomplishment?  Health?  Education?  Envision yourself in your new home, finishing that marathon, wearing that bikini, or writing that new accomplishment on your resume.  Visualize clearly.  Let that be your motivation.
  2. Identify the specific action or thing that is preventing you from moving forward.  The action may be something big or it may be small.  Do you have to pass a test?  Are you unable to find time?  Do you not quite understand one thing, and that one thing holds the key to bigger things?  Write down the one, or the few things, that are keeping you from accomplishing the goal ahead. 
  3. Note the specific reason that this action is difficult to tackle.  Dig even deeper and get to the root. Are you unable to study because you don’t feel like it?  Is there one thing in the material that requires explanation?  Do you not have time because you have to work, take care of children, and find time to rest?  Are you not sure which method of moving forward is the best option for you and now have analysis paralysis?
  4. Write down a list of ways that you could clear that obstacle.  Is there someone you could ask for help?  Is there a website online that may have an answer?  Do you need someone to babysit?  Are you hesitant to spend money?  Can you research the best option online?  Do you need to speak to someone about their experience?  What specifically will help you overcome this obstacle? Write down one way, or a couple of options for clearing this obstacle.
  5. Designate a specific start time.  Look at your calendar, figure out your upcoming schedule.  Pick a time that you will start devoting to your action.  If your action is researching options, pick a time that you will sit down and begin your research.  You may not hammer it all out in one sitting, but if you don’t make a plan and set aside time, that time will pass and you will be no further along. 
  6. Be intentional.  Even if you only have 20 minutes of solid time this week to devote, make that time as productive as you possibly can make it.  Turn off distractions, put your phone down, have your note-taking devices prepared. Make that time count.
  7. Designate a specific time for your foreseeable sessions.  If you know that you have an hour before the kids get off the bus, let that be your specific time going forward.  If you’re working on losing weight, have your sneakers, sports bra, headphones and gear set out and ready.  When that hour approaches, you can jump to action as soon as it hits. No excuses. No fetching. Get to it.

What I’ve noticed is that each small action snowballs into the next action.  Getting started helped me to gather the momentum to keep going. 

Once you hit the brakes on a plan, you just have to figure out how to get going again. Get unstuck and keep moving!  Don’t dismiss how important this goal is to you and your future. Your goal is important and you are worth the effort!

Do you have any tips to add? Anything work for you that I haven’t mentioned? Let me know your thoughts on roadblocks!

justamarylandgirl

Why The Annual “State of My Finances” Is Important

state of finances 2

Money, money, money money….MONEY!!!  Some people got to have it, some people really need it…and some have no idea whether they have it or they need it because they don’t take the time to review their books.  “What books??” You ask.  Well, whether it’s a book or a spreadsheet or an app on your phone, I’m talking about your finances.

Every year kinda goes the same way when it comes to my finances.  I have a pretty strong start with being disciplined and focused, then I eventually lose focus but somehow the bills still get paid, and by the end of the year, things get pretty loosey goosey.  I am not aware of balances, I stop telling myself “no” to purchases as much as I should, I start becoming really focused on when I get paid again, and the paycheck-to-paycheck mentality kicks in a bit.  Then January rolls around and I force myself to get reacquainted with my finances, and I become focused and disciplined all over again.

So…here we are…it’s January and it’s time to know what’s happening with my finances.  It’s time to regain control, see the big picture, know my numbers and dates, and make the promise to myself to be more fiscally responsible than I was last year.

Where to begin:  I have a spreadsheet which has been my trusty companion for the last five years or so.  I use it to track account balances, financial obligations, and monthly payments.  So I pulled that out and got to work.  I went account by account, checked balances and limits, minimum payments, and due dates.  One page of the spreadsheet contains every debt that I owe for every monthly payment I make.  It has the date that those payments are due each month, the current balance of that account, the limit for that account, and the method which I make my monthly payments.  I update it for any new accounts and delete any old accounts that no longer apply.  I sum this all up and I see where I stand from a total debt perspective.  Then I compare that amount to the debt reported on my freecreditreport.com report.  (Side note:  Freecreditreport.com is a very useful tool. I highly recommend this or some type of credit monitoring service.)

So here’s the spreadsheet template that I use.

budgetspreadsheetcapture2

After I’ve updated all the accounts on my current payment roster, I go to my other sheet that lays out my monthly perspective.  I put in my paycheck dates for the year, the amount of each paycheck, and the bills that I pay each month.  This is where I track each time I get a paycheck, and each time I actually make a payment towards my bills.  This is also where I become a little lazy because most of my payments are set to be automatically paid.  I like that these payments occur behind the scenes and that I do not have to monitor them on a daily basis.  I feel like I should stay on top of my monthly payments, but because God invented autopay, I just don’t have the need to monitor it super close.

budgetspreadsheetcapture

So…between these two spreadsheets, this is how I go about performing my “State of My Finances” review.

Upon completing my review, here’s what I found out— I kicked ASS this year financially!  GO ME!  1) I paid off all credit card accounts except one that I use for vacations and such.  2) My credit score has gone up, up, up despite purchasing a vehicle last year! 3) My monthly utility, cell phone, cable, etc. have all been kept at a satisfactory level.  4) I am spending significantly less than I make.  5) And I have a much healthier surplus at the end of each month.  YES!  This is what it’s all about!

Doing an annual “State of Your Finances” is an absolute MUST for everyone, and here’s why:

You know where you stand:  Every adult should know who they owe, how much they owe, and when they owe it.  You need to know whether you need to make changes or stay the course.  You need to know whether you can withstand a financial crisis or an unexpected life change.  While credit reports are a great way to know this information, sometimes they are wrong.  If you haven’t done your own work, you may not realize there are errors, and that can hurt you in the long run.  A good example for me is, when I was furloughed for 35 days, and missed nearly three paychecks, my boyfriend was actually surprised that I wasn’t a big ball of stress.  That’s because I knew I had savings, I knew I had credit cards that weren’t maxed out, and I knew what sat in my bank account.  Granted, it wasn’t a great time, I definitely avoided Target like the plague…but I was able to survive it unscathed.

Knowing your financial status is empowering:  Every year when I do my self-audit, I come out of the experience feeling better.  When they say knowing is half the battle, that’s legit.  You feel empowered to do better, to plot a course, to move to the next step.  Or you feel validated in the way you spent money in the previous year.  Even in the years when I realize my financial situation was not great, when I was completely under water and overwhelmed, I still completed my finance-check feeling better.  I’d rather know than not know.  Knowing your starting point helps you determine your goals.  Just because things aren’t great doesn’t mean you can’t improve and get to where you want to be.  Trust me.  I know first-hand, and maybe one day I’ll write about my journey to this point.

Not knowing is stressful:  Flying blindly is a bad idea.  Not knowing whether you are close to financial ruin or well on your way to financial freedom can cause stress.  Playing fast and loose with your finances is never a good thing.  Getting to a checkout line and not knowing whether you have $500 or $5 in your account is not cute.  Going to dinner with your girls, and having your stomach in knots because you don’t know what the waiter is going to say when he brings your card back…is a horrible position to be in.  Remove one source of stress from your life.  Know for sure what’s going on.  Either way, the money is either in your account or it isn’t.  Don’t add to the stress by putting yourself in embarrassing situations just because you don’t want to know your truth.

You can set the course and let go of the wheel:  What I’ve learned is that by going over my bills and payments in the beginning of the year, I actually figure out what my plan is for the year, set everything up, and then I don’t think about it.  I just let the auto-pay magic happen.  Because I know that I’m not the greatest at being disciplined, I set myself up for success from the beginning and then I don’t worry about it.  Over the course of the last few years, I always dread this audit, and then realize things are better than where I started.  But that’s because I’ve set payments up, I’ve updated when things get allocated based on my pay dates for the year, so I don’t have to constantly monitor and look at things in order for them to get done.  Lay out your plan and let it go to work!

You can take advantage of opportunities: Whether it’s planning a trip you swore you didn’t have enough money for, or increasing your contributions to your 401k, knowing definitively where you stand with your finances opens the door to more opportunities.  For me, if I have money sitting in the bank, that’s money available for me to spend.  But instead, if I allocate it before I see it, then it’s helping me accomplish a goal.  I know I’d much rather accomplish a goal than purchase yet another pair of jeans.  Let your money help you experience life to its fullest.  Don’t let it be the reason you don’t want to get out of bed in the morning.  I’ve been there–it’s horrible.

Start your year off right.  Don’t hesitate!  Know where you stand financially and set yourself up to be in a better position when you review your finances next year.  I know you can do it!

tata for now -m- (2)

 

justamarylandgirl

Purge–and have it picked up

donations 1

It’s time to get rid of that futon. And that old desk.  And that cabinet with three legs that you swore you’d find another leg for and paint and make brand new.  But you’re going on 10 years since making that promise, and let’s face it — it’s never going to happen.  Ever.  It’s time to let those long-held items go, let them find a new home with an owner that will live up to its promise to refurbish and make it whole again.  It’s not you.  It’s never going to be you.  Ever.

If you’re like me, one of the main reasons those items linger around your home way too long, is because they aren’t exactly going to squish into the back of your fiat or your volvo hatchback.  Even if you have an SUV like I do, some furniture is just too large to fit, or too heavy to carry alone, or would require entirely too many trips back and forth to the organization, or would require you asking a friend, which no one ever wants to do for fear of owing a favor…or you’re lazy.  Like me.  No judgment here, I promise.

So you have to figure out other arrangements.  The good news is that there are lots of charity organizations that will gladly take these items off your hands, and they will come to your home to pick them up from you.  Here are a few organizations that will do just that:

SALVATION ARMY:  This is probably going to be the way to go if you have a lot of random and bulky items that aren’t accepted by every organization.  They accept a wide range of furniture, home goods, appliances and clothing.  This is the option I went with.  They have a very simple website that, in a few short clicks and keystrokes, allow you to set up your pick-up date and location.  You can be present or leave the items in a location outside the home for them to grab.  It doesn’t really get much easier than this.

This organization accepts:  appliances, automobiles, clothing, furniture, household items, and miscellaneous items.

GREEN DROP:  This organization is a one-stop shop for multiple charities.  Your donation to Green Drop can benefit The American Red Cross, Purple Heart, National Federation of the Blind, and/or St. Vincent de Paul of Philadelphia.  You can donate at a Green Drop location or arrange to have your items picked up and they will also notify you when they will be in your neighborhood again.  Because, let’s face it, there’s always more purging to be done.  If you are doing a home clean-out, Green Drop will send a concierge to your home to let you know what they can accept, and to help you and your driver prepare for your upcoming donation.  Say whaaaaat????

This organization accepts:  clothing, bedding, tools, collectibles, kitchenware, toys, small appliances, electronics, musical instruments, and sporting goods.  They do NOT accept tv’s or tubular computers.  All donations must be less than 50 pounds.

PURPLE HEART:  Aside from its charitable work for veterans, this organization is best known its car donation program.  I have personally donated a car to Purple Heart in the past, and found the process to be simple and flawless.  A quick trip to the website and you can arrange to have your car picked up by the organization.  You can also donate clothing and home items by using Green Drop.

Please note, you must have a clean title (no liens) to donate your car.

HABITAT FOR HUMANITY:  Best known for their work building houses, this organization also has its thrift store (the Habitat Re-Store), which sells building materials and other items that went unused in their home building, along with furniture and home furnishings.  Some locations will come and pick up your donated items from your home.  Habitat for Humanity also accepts car donations.

This organization accepts: new and gently used appliances, furniture, building materials, household goods, cars, and more.

SECOND CHANCE:  This charitable organization deconstructs buildings and homes, salvages usable materials and makes those available to the public through their 200,000 square feet of retail space.  With the revenue generated, Second Chance provides job training and workforce development for those with employment obstacles in the Baltimore region.

This organization accepts old doors and windows, hardware and tools, ironwork and mantles, and gently used furniture, building materials, kitchen appliances, bathroom fixtures, tubs, sinks, accessories, household goods, garden elements, collections, lighting or unique architectural items in good to excellent condition.  They even accept automobiles and homes.

COLLEGE HUNKS HAULING JUNK:  Started by a couple of college kids in 2003, this organization has grown and is now a franchised moving company that offers full-service residential and commercial moving, junk removal, donation pickups, and moving labor services across the United States and Canada.  Unlike nonprofit organizations, this is a company that charges a fee for its services.  But don’t shy away from that.  If you need stuff gone in a hurry, this is one way to do it.  And we all know, sometimes paying money is worth your peace of mind.

For items that you wish to donate, College Hunks will remove your items and take them for donation to places such as Goodwill, Green Drop, and Habitat for Humanity.

This organization:  does furniture and junk removal, appliance removal and recycling, yard waste cleanup, electronics recycling, carpet removal and recycling, mattress disposal, tire removal and recycling, office equipment removal, trash removal and garbage pickup, scrap metal removal, home junk removal and recycling, hot tub removal, and attic clean-out.  They will also In short, there is not much in your home that they will not help you remove or get rid of.

This is in no way an all-encompassing list.  Each area has local charities that may also provide donation pick-up services.  Do some research and see what your area has to offer.  But the take-away from this post is that this is motivation to get to purging.  Don’t let your car sitch or your lack of help keep you from getting on with your purging efforts.  Get your trash bags and boxes and fill them up.  Make the call, get your pick-up scheduled, and have your items ready to go when your crew arrives!

tata for now -m- (2)

 

justamarylandgirl