Category: self confidence

What people incorrectly assume about me: Bloganuary Entry #8

What do people incorrectly assume about me?

Let me start by saying that people probably assume a lot about me. And I guess that is what people do. It’s not that I’m particularly interesting or controversial. But people have their opinions no matter what. And because I’ve been known to be closed-off (that’s the cancer in me), I think that lends itself to people filling in the blanks with opinions and assumptions.

If I had to pick something that I think people assume about me, it’d be that they assume that I think I’m perfect. I do admit that I don’t really deal with a lot of foolishness, and I want people to be the best version of themselves. And maybe that standard makes people feel like I don’t realize that I myself am flawed.

But I do realize it. I actually realize my flaws quite a bit…definitely daily…and several times throughout the day. Like my girl Beyonce says, I’m a train wreck in the morning, I’m a bitch in the afternoon. It’s the story of my life.

I make mistakes. Often. I slack off. I make bad decisions. I can be mean. Snippy. Sarcastic. Horrible. Judgmental. Opinionated. That’s just the top of the list. I’m definitely far from perfect. And I realize this. So maybe I should do a better job of communicating that I do in fact realize that I’m quite flawed, and very, very, very far from perfect. Or maybe I should just let people assume whatever they’re going to assume.

What do people assume about you, and…are they right?

I’ll close this post out with my girl Bey. Flaws & All.

justamarylandgirlLeave a comment

Someone I admire: Bloganuary Entry #5

Photo by Anna Shvets on Pexels.com

This is a really hard prompt because there are truly inspirational and admirable people everywhere. But it’s pretty fair to say that most of the people I admire are women. And even more specifically, they are women in my family. You can close your eyes and pick pretty much any one of them, and you will find someone who has set and amazing example of being a good mother, sister, aunt, matriarch, trailblazer, free thinker, supporter, etc. It is truly hard, no…impossible, to pick only one person to write about. And frfr, I don’t want to poke the hornet’s nest of picking out just one person.

So instead of picking one particular person that I admire, let me tell you five traits that I find are common in the many people I admire.

They choose kindness. Every woman in my family has been through something. And yet they are all the sweetest, kindest people on the whole planet. Yes, I said the whole entire planet!

They stand up for themselves and for others. They all do it in different ways. Ranging from timid and subtle to brazen and spitfire, they have their own approaches, but they speak up. And their approaches are actually quite fascinating. I’ve noticed that there’s a time and a place for each method, and I’ve even used some myself.

Despite obstacles, they persevere. Life is clearly full of challenges. Being able to face those challenges, no matter how big or small, and come out ahead is no easy feat. Watching the women in my life tackle challenges and come out being better and stronger is so powerful and encouraging. They tackle motherhood and marriages and the workforce and entrepreneurship, and of course all of the daily nuances that life can present. Being able to watch them face challenges and persevere gives me so much strength in my own life.

Through actions or through words, they impart wisdom. There is a takeaway from every encounter. Whether it’s a recipe, a history lesson, a mantra about life, a tip for the daily struggle, or a lesson in what not to do, there’s always something to learn.

They love hard. There is never any question about who they love and how much they love them. They express it in their actions and with their words. Often. And without shame.

It may be hard to pick one or even three top people that you admire. But do you notice a commonality among people that make your list? I’d love to hear what you admire about the people you admire!

justamarylandgirlLeave a comment

What Drake Can Teach Us About Knowing Our Worth

Photo by Vlada Karpovich on Pexels.com

Rapper/singer/actor/and overall hottie Drake, announced that he was removing himself from consideration for his two Grammy nominations. While he didn’t give a specific reason for the withdrawal, his history with the Grammy’s may provide a little insight.

In the past, Drake has openly criticized the institution of the Grammy’s. He has said that the Grammy’s are an “opinion-based sport, not a factual-based sport.” In essence, winners are determined by someone’s judgment of them. And according to Drake, what does the judging body of the Grammy’s know about a biracial guy from Canada or, for that matter, a Spanish girl from New York? How can they relate to what people of different experiences and backgrounds have to say and the manner in which they say it?

The whole idea of this is intriguing to me. As an introvert who feels some type a way in front of crowds and in front of people I don’t know, and even in front of people that I know very well, feeling judged and fearing judgment is just part of my life. I unfortunately find myself deeply concerned by the opinion of others, even though I know very well that their opinions should not matter and do not pay my bills.

Now, I do realize that a certain IDGAF-ness may come with having millions in the bank and screaming, adoring fans wherever you go. The average person may not have traveling hype-men at their beck and call like Drizzy. But…he did not always have those things. I’m sure he got a lot of flack back during his Degrassi days, and I’m sure he could have let people’s negativity and criticism kill his dreams. He could have easily given up at any point, taken the safe route, gone to college, gotten a desk job, and spent the rest his days talking to his colleagues and friends about all of the “what-if’s” that “if I had only’s”. He could have just settled for the “easy” 9-5 life.

Somewhere along the way, HE decided that HE will not be judged and that the opinion of those that didn’t matter, well…didn’t matter.

At some point, Drake decided to stop acting and focus on rap, and I’m sure somebody somewhere was extremely vocal about what an insane move they felt that was. But yet, here he is– arguably one of the top rappers/musical entertainers of this generation. He knew his worth, he had the confidence to go for it, and he won’t stand by and be judged by people who he feels don’t matter.

“Nobody understood

what it was like to be

black and Jewish…

being different from everyone else

just made me a lot stronger.”

– Drake

I’m not really sure how we should go about getting out of our own way. Our own self-limiting beliefs are damaging enough. But then, for many people, they are compounded by other people’s judgment and limitations of us. And I’m not really sure how we go about ignoring them and powering through.

So while I don’t have answers, I do have mantras, affirmations, and empowering thoughts. So here we go…

  • Rule #1: F*ck what they think.
  • Other people’s opinions of me do not pay a single bill in my household.
  • Other people’s limitations of me are an expression of their limited mindsets and their lack of confidence in themselves.
  • I believe in myself, and I trust my ability to do great things.
  • I am strong in ways I haven’t acknowledged.
  • Don’t give people so much power over you that their silence leaves you questioning your worth
  • Their silence may be a reflection of their own shortcomings and insecurities because they see you doing big things
  • A woman who knows what she brings to the table isn’t afraid to eat alone.
  • You can’t knock a girl off a pedestal she built herself.
  • You will never influence the world by trying to be like it.
  • A girl who is going to do big things cannot let small things or small people get to her.
  • The woman who does not require validation from anyone is the most feared individual on the planet.
  • Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes it’s that little voice at the end of the day that says I’ll try again tomorrow.
  • Hustle until your haters ask if you’re hiring.

And if you want a few motivating quotes from Drizzy himself, here are a few of those…

  • When writing the story of your life, don’t let anyone else hold the pen
  • Haters are just confused admirers
  • Kill them with sucess and bury them with a smile
  • I was born to make mistakes, not to fake perfection
  • It’s never too late to realize what you want in life, and it’s never wrong to fight for it

How do you deal with other people’s judgments and opinions? How do you power through and stay focused on your own goals and desires? Do you have any mantras or thoughts that work for you?

justamarylandgirlLeave a comment