Tag: family

FOMO: A New Perspective

Photo by Laura James on Pexels.com

For Christmas, I gave my sister an ornament. You know the ones…it has the year on it and then you add a cute family picture from that year. The picture I chose was a funny memory because we had to figure out using my ring tripod, and wrangle the kids off of their devices, then squish everyone into the frame and set the timer. We captured what we thought were great pics. Only to realize that my niece had been crossing her eyes in every single freaking picture. It was annoying and completely laugh-worthy.

So of course, I had to put that picture in the ornament. But what I realized as my sister opened the package at Christmas, was that my oldest niece wasn’t in the pic. And I felt so bad for selecting that picture. I apologized a couple of times and told my sister that she should feel free to replace the picture with one that includes my oldest niece. And my sister said to me, no, this is the picture that we will look back on and remember that niecey pooh wasn’t there because she was off at college.

I was so shocked at how simple and perfect that perspective was. What a new way of looking at this scenario. Maybe it’s just my family, but we do tend to acknowledge when all of the siblings are at an event, or all of the cousins, or all of the boys, or all of the grandkids. And when we photograph those events and someone is missing from the group, we do point out that all of the aunts/uncles/kids/etc. are there except so-and-so. And we do typically say that the picture would be so much better if the missing people were there. If that aunt was there or that grandchild was there to complete the group. We spend time focusing on who wasn’t there and how the picture would be better if they were in it.

But the thing I love about my sister’s response is that the absence of my niece is in itself a story. And this picture can remind us of how she was dedicated to school, even though it meant missing out on a family gathering that she would have liked to attend. We can commemorate the period of time that she was away at school through her absence from the picture.

There will always be times when people are missing from gatherings and events. Instead of creating a sense of guilt or sadness or FOMO around it, it’s so much better to focus on those who made it. It is more fruitful to acknowledge that people do have other things going on. We should choose to think of gatherings as a positive and joyous time to spend with the people in your presence, not a time to dwell on those who did not attend. That’s the perspective I’m going to try to have going forward.

Chime in–how do you handle FOMO?

justamarylandgirlLeave a comment

DIY Reusable Disinfecting Wipes

Lemme tell you, COVID caught me completely off guard. I have prided myself lately in trying to remove hoarding tendencies from my life. And one area where I’ve worked the hardest is on not stocking up on tons and tons and tons of household items. I would buy one pack of paper towels, one counter cleaner, one pack of paper towels, etc. Use those and re-up when the time was right. Space is limited and I typically don’t use most items very fast.

This no-hoarding lifestyle has totally failed me when it comes to COVID prep. Luckily I had recently re-upped on toilet paper and paper towels, apparently the biggest must-haves for the virus.

But when it comes to disinfecting wipes, I have what remains in one container I bought several months ago, and that’s pretty much it. I had started using non-toxic cleansers years ago because I had a cat, so I haven’t stocked up on virus killing products. This means I have little to no bleach, alcohol, peroxide, etc. This will all be rectified once we return to normal.

But in the mean time, I decided to try to stretch the items I have, and stop trying to fight people in the store for wipes and sanitizers. And with that said, I present to you my quick, easy reusable disinfecting wipes.

Materials:

1) 1 and a half cups of 91% rubbing alcohol

2) 3 tablespoons of Palmolive dish soap

3) 10-20 drops of essential oils

4) Cloths

5) Container

This step is optional. For my purposes, I figured it would be a better for my usage for me to cut them. Also, one of the last things I stocked up on when I moved a couple months ago just happened to be this HUGE bag of microfiber cloths from home Depot that were on clearance for $2.50. I’ve only used a few of them, so they were perfect for this project. Also, cheap wash cloths would work as well.

When you use them, you can toss them in the wash.  You can easily refresh the mixture when necessary.

The end! Easy peasy!  

M signature

justamarylandgirl

5 Tips for Surviving a Family Vacation

I did it, yall. I went on vacation with 40 relatives, yes 4-0, and I survived!!!

Again…FORTY! lol. FORTY PEOPLE!

I’m an introvert, I love being quiet, I can spend large periods of time completely by myself not making a sound and not having any human contact whatsoever. So, this is key for introverts…we DO NOT thrive in large groups. The more, the merrier is NOT our motto.

When my mom said let’s do a family cruise, my first reaction was “oh dear God NO!!” I know, I know…it’s a horrible reaction, but listen to me…relaxation and large groups don’t always go hand in hand, and I know my limitations when it comes to this type of thing. I know I’m not alone on this. But my my thoughts were… what if there’s drama? What if they make me get up early every day? What if they make me do a bunch of stuff I don’t want to do? How are we going to coordinate a ton of people to do activities?? And then the vision of herding cats popped into my head.

With that said, I cannot tell you what made me agree to go on a cruise with a massive group of people, even if they were my blood (or the spouse/friend/companion of blood). But I did it. And I roped my boyfriend and bestie into going as well. You’d think having them there would be a relief, but this oddly just added to my cruise prep stress. What if someone in my family says something to one of them, and I spend the entire trip playing defense and running interference? What if Cousin So-and-So asks me to go to the pool, but my boyfriend wants me to go play shuffle board? What if my auntie gets too intrusive with my bestie, grilling her about her most intimate life choices? Will the group expect all 40 of us to do every single thing together? Will I be able to escape the group, boyfriend, and bestie to do my necessary introvert recharging? I didn’t know what to expect and the whole thing just made me nervous.

So cruise day approached, we met the group at the port, and the 5-day trip to Bermuda commenced. Hugs, introductions, and lots of reacquainting happened. We laughed, ate, danced, swam and soaked in the sun. And after five days together, I’m happy to report that the trip was not worth the stressing at all!

Let me tell you what you can do to make your family trip a success this summer:

  1. Start off with a good mood. Begin your vacation with the intentions of having a good time, not with the intention that all things will work out perfectly. Make the decision that your vacation will be relaxing, fun, therapeutic, revitalizing, or whatever you want it to be. Then make it so.
  2. Leave old family fights in the past. Or at least make the conscious decision to not bring them on vacation. Nothing will kill a good time faster than bringing up that argument about who took Grandma’s precious cloth napkins in 1963. Vacations are precious, time away from work can be hard, and trips can be expensive. Don’t waste precious time and money on drama that’s no longer important.
  3. Prepare yourself mentally and physically for all possible scenarios. This includes packing items for a contingency, and preparing your mind for the possibility that every day may not be perfect. If it may possibly rain, have a book on hand for the days you can’t go to the beach. Pack an umbrella or slicker, and have what you need on hand to be outdoors in potentially inclement weather. Don’t let a bad weather day stop you from enjoying your trip. The more you’re able to go with the flow, the less negative impact an unexpected occurrence will have on your vacation. We had a couple of rain showers…so those were good times for souvenir shopping or the indoor pool. For the day that the ship had a wind advisory cutting off our sunbathing, we opted for the casino and hot tub. Be ok with changing plans. Or better yet, don’t make plans and just go with the flow.
  4. Limit the number of activities that are done as a group. My mother was the group’s organizer, and she made it a point to say she wasn’t coordinating many things. She wanted people to feel free to do what they wanted, as too much planning makes people feel like they’re at boot camp, not on vacation. As a group, we took two group pictures, and ate dinner each night. My mother invited everyone to do certain activities each day if they wanted to join her, but nobody had any obligation to join her at all.
  5. Book your room away from the group’s room block. Now…this may or may not be necessary or even possible. For me, I figured it may be a good idea. For those moments when I wanted to absolutely get away, I could escape to my room on a different floor, in a different part of the ship.

While I was terrified initially, and I feared all things that could go wrong in a large group, my trip turned out to be a wonderful time, and I’m so glad I decided to go! If you have any tips, please feel free to comment!

justamarylandgirl