Tag: intentional living

Five things I’m grateful for: Bloganuary Entry #9

Gratitude, as defined, is the quality of being thankful.

And it is truly the key to life.

I love the current movement towards finding reasons to be grateful and ways to express gratitude daily. Sometimes I feel like it’s all too easy to forget that there are so many things in every single day that we should be grateful for. The simple act of waking up every morning is a gift. It’s an underappreciated gift. It’s a gift that is often taken for granted, and sometimes it’s not even acknowledged at all.

Last year, I bought a gratitude journal. Every entry was devoted to the things in that day that I felt gratitude for. I felt like it was super easy to think of every bad thing going on around me, but I truly needed to see the brighter and bigger picture, and I needed to realize that I had so much to be grateful for. Sadly, I was hot and heavy with my entries in the beginning, but things slowed down over time. So I’m happy that this prompt came up, because it’s a great reminder to get back to acknowledging everything that I have to be grateful for. Which is a lot.

So here is what would be in my gratitude journal entry today. Today I am grateful for…:

Medical care: I could go on and on about this one. Reliable, affordable, competent medical care is just hard to quantify or even explain, so all I can say is that I’m extremely grateful to have it.

Supportive and loving family: My family is just awesome. I am grateful that I feel this way about my family, because not everyone is able to say that about theirs.

My devoted partner: Whew chile! After what I’ve been through the last few months in addition to the pandemmy, lockdown, and the craziness of the last couple years…he has both driven me crazy and kept me sane all at the same time. And I legit would not have it any other way. I am so extremely grateful for him.

Delivery services: I cannot say enough about the way that delivery services has gotten me (and the world) through the past two years. USPS, Fedex, UPS, Amazon, food and grocery delivery, and any of the shipping partners that aren’t mentioned…they have truly stepped up in these crazy and scary times. I could go on and on and on and on about their sacrifices and their hard work in a time when things are uncertain and terrifying.

Animals: I don’t currently have a pet, but that doesn’t mean that animals have not been therapeutic in my life. I swear, I can watch animal videos all day if you let me! They brighten my day, make me laugh, and just bring me entirely too much joy.

So now that I’ve made this post and this list, it’s time to pull out my journal and get back into the practice of making sure I fully acknowledge all of the wonderful things, big or small, happening around me each day. There is entirely too much to be grateful for, and when it’s super easy to talk about what’s wrong in the world, I need to just as easily remember the good things around me.

If you had to pick something that you are grateful for today, no matter what scale it’s on, what would it be? I’d love to hear it!

justamarylandgirl3 Comments

Weekly Mindset: Appreciate the Simple Things

I’m totally appreciating so many things right now. I took a walk today at lunch, and frolicked (if you will) a little. I even played around on the neighborhood playground and giggled. I realized how that little bit of play brightened my mood pretty significantly.

It brought back memories from childhood when my friends and I used to create obstacle courses on my swing set. It got my heart pumping. The air made me smile. Plus my endorphins were flowing. It was so simple and such a mood booster.

“As the heart flourishes, the mind eases, and so gratitude practice can help to lessen our experience of anxiety and stress, improve the quality of our sleep, and enhance the equanimity we find within ourselves and within our relationships at large.”

mindfulexercises.com

Appreciating simple things has certain benefits, such as improved sleep quality, overall mood improvement and improved emotional regulation.

Author and thought leader Mike Robbins says that there are two things that can help you to appreciate the simple things. They are 1) being easily impressed and 2) being hard to offend. When we are appreciating life’s small miracles, we are opening ourselves up to being grateful and fulfilled.

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This makes me think of a conversation I just had about celebrating birthdays. For one person, a small celebration is an evening outing to the local Top Golf. Whereas for another person, a small celebration is a quick trip to Vegas or a week in Dubai. I would never say that someone shouldn’t treat themselves however they see fit, or that people shouldn’t aim high, but it’s easy to see how one is more attainable than the other. Attainable, simple joys are needed just as much as large scale treats and rewards. But if you only look forward to the large scale events, how do you enjoy your daily life? Every day just will not be a trip overseas. How do you find a reason to smile each day or to feel grateful for the little things that make life wonderful?

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I believe in appreciating the small things, and this week that list includes:

  • the amazing crisp fall air
  • the BEAUTIFUL leaves and all of their awesome colors
  • being able to be a digital nomad
  • a healthy family
  • my health
  • good shows to binge watch
  • amazing friends
  • a healthy relationship
  • stable employment
  • access to modern healthcare
  • a roof over my head
  • safety
  • a neighbor who plays the saxophone (after living next to HORRIBLE, loud, aggressive neighbors)
  • peace

There are so many daily things to appreciate. And the benefits of acknowledging the little things in life are wonderful for your mental and physical well-being. Don’t just save appreciation and gratefulness for the holidays. Do it today, and do it often. I’m going to make it part of my daily routine.

What are you grateful for this week?

justamarylandgirl5 Comments

I guess I’m a microblogger

Truth of the matter is…I have a short attention span. I realized I am slack-ass with my blog because I feel like every post should be this long, well-researched post containing everything from a hypothesis all the way to a conclusion. I feel like every post should be lengthy and should solve a problem, however, I know that’s not necessarily why I read blog posts, and I assume there are others who also don’t read blogs for the length.

Don’t get me wrong, sometimes I am looking for a specific solution to a specific problem, and blogs help me with that. In that case, the more thorough, the better. But sometimes I just want to be nosey, or I just want to see a picture and two sentences…or even better…a couple of bullet points. I just want to get a sneak peek inside someone’s life, see what they’ve been up to, what they wore, and how they felt. I normally skim long posts, search out the key words or the pieces of interest. You know–like when you find a recipe and the author drolls on and on about how her grandmother used to churn her own butter just to make her special biscuits. Skip, skip, skip…

So WHY do I feel like my posts should be long?

Well…as of this moment, I don’t feel that way. Some, if not all, of my posts will be short and sweet. I’m not sure if microblogging is the right term, but that’s what I will be doing. Short posts and pics…unless there’s a topic I feel like I want to expound on.

How do you approach blogging? What is it you enjoy when you are reading other blogs?

justamarylandgirl2 Comments

Kindness Matters. Always.

I woke up this morning with a buzz in my ear…and here it is.

Kindness. Matters.

Once more.

Kindness. Matters.

You may have seen on my social media, on my etsy shop and on my blog that I call myself a kindness advocate.  Let me explain a little.  Judging comes very easy to me.  Always has.  Expectations and opinions flow through my veins.  It is only through some serious growth, and a few hard lessons, that I realized that I’m not always right and kindness truly matters. 

Giving the benefit of the doubt matters. 

Understanding that everyone is different matters. 

Realizing that everyone’s circumstances are different, their backgrounds are different, their response mechanisms are different, their support systems are different…and that all of that matters.

It took me well into my 30s before I realized that how I think, how I react, and what I do is not always right.  That was a hard pill to swallow.  Lol.  I realized I’m not always the smartest person in the room and that I’m definitely not always right.  I don’t always have the answers, and there are other ways of doing and thinking that are better than the way I do it.

I realized that you really have to hear where a person comes from and how they got to where they are in life before you can really understand their position, their mentality, and their actions. 

Maybe you would have done things differently if faced with the same set of circumstances, but maybe not.  I had to really examine how many times I’ve made a bad decision, one that others in my exact situation wouldn’t have made, and how I had to learn from the mistake to truly appreciate just how bad of a decision it was.  Most of the time, the decisions were things I could recover from.  But some did change my life in more permanent ways. But should I be judged or should someone be mean to me because I chose a wrong path or because I made a decision they wouldn’t have made? I don’t think so.

But every interaction may not afford you the opportunity for a deep dive into people’s lives so that you can understand exactly how they got to that street corner, or wound up in a financial bind, or whatever.  It may only be seconds of time out of your life that your path crosses with someone.  And that’s when you have to decide.  Would I rather spend these seconds judging, being mean, ignoring, or getting riled up?  Or would I rather realize this is a human being that got here by means of which I do not know, and that this person could use a couple of dollars, a sweater, a drink, a meal, a smile, or at the very least, for someone to not add to the weight on their shoulders by being mean to them?

My choice is compassion.  Or rather, the choice I hope I make each time is compassion.  Kindness.  Generosity.  I’m working each day to train myself to make that choice, and to advocate for people to consider compassion as their choice.  It’s not always easy, and it doesn’t come naturally all the time.  But that’s what I am working towards each day.  Kindness always.  Even when it’s really, really, really hard.

Through my apparel, I try to emphasize positivity and good vibes.  I try to always smile, and I try to see the good in every person I interact with either in person or on social media.  I’m not always successful, trust me.  But it is something I actively strive for each day.

These days we are all coping with unprecedented stress. We are in a situation we may not see again in our lifetime. We are all figuring it out and we are all trying our best. And we all deserve a little kindness.

Do you have a personal attribute that you are working on? What made you realize it was time to work on that particular quality? What do you do to motivate yourself to work on it? Do you have any tips?

justamarylandgirl

My Response When I Feel Unfulfilled at Work

I reached out to a friend recently. The last few times we spoke, I felt like things were very one-sided. You know how it can go…you reach out, you keep the convo going, you ask all the questions, you get little feedback. The convo follows a similar negative pattern each time you speak, so you say to yourself “ok, I’m not doing that again.”

But of course you’ll do it again. This is someone you consider a friend. And they are a friend for a reason.

Today I felt like I wanted to reach out again after a few months had passed since we last spoke. I kept the topic pretty light…anything new, recent home projects, funny stories, things like that. And I noticed it was a matter of time before we circled back to the same complain-esque type conversations. She hates work, work sucks, I don’t want to be there, I hate it there, etc.

So…I felt like…idk, some type a way.  This complaining, almost using the same verbiage exactly…has not changed in over five years!!!!  So as a friend, what can I do?  What can I say?  I asked the usual questions.  Have you thought about other jobs?  Have you thought about classes?  Have you thought about hobbies so that your time outside of work can possibly fill some of the work satisfaction voids?  And the response for all my questions were essentially a resounding “no.” As they always have been.

Now, I don’t want to seem like my life is SOOOO together or that I don’t suffer from the occasional negative work attitude.  But I realized long ago that I had some decisions to make when it came to my work-life balance and what I expected from my 9-5.  Is my job amazing?  Heeeelll no.  lol.  But…I have a few options.  1) I could find another job.  2) I could boost my qualifications so that I could move up or move around where within my current employer.  3)I could get over it.  Or 4) I could live so fully outside of work that I don’t place a super high level of importance on “job satisfaction.”  Those are the options I felt like I had.  Everyone may feel like they have different options, but those are the ones I decided that I had. 

But basically, it was unlikely that the job I had was going to change.  So I could either find a new job, change myself, or change my attitude towards the job.

Ultimately, I chose a weird hybrid of those three options.  1) An opportunity to change departments presented itself, so I grabbed it.  2) I made connections and I sought out opportunities within my agency to grow and be visible, so that I could put myself into a position for promotions and mobility in the future.  And 3) I investigated and implemented avenues outside of work to be my own boss, which ultimately changed my attitude towards my 9-5 job. I wouldn’t say I feel completely fulfilled, but it rarely occurs to me to hate or dislike my 9-5 job. I found other ways to find fulfillment, and I’m quite happy with them.

WHAT IS YOUR GO-TO RESPONSE WHEN YOU ARE FEELING UNFULFILLED?

One of my responses is to learn something. 

Nothing too heavy, just some quick self-learning type thing.  Like how to purge my closet in three easy steps, or how to make easy banana bread.  It almost doesn’t matter what it is, I want to immediately feel like I took an action to better myself in some way.  And quick learning usually does the trick.

Another thing I do is I immerse myself my side hustles.  There are SO many things to learn and there are SO many resources available when it comes to side hustles, I find something, read it, implement it, work on it…whatever. To feel fulfilled, I typically need to feel like I’m gaining control over something,…like I’m finding actionable steps that can lead me to a desired outcome, or like I’m learning something about myself that can help me cope with my current situation or make my current situation better in some way.

Here are some things I did that recently helped me when I needed to feel like I was taking action

1)Listened to a few episodes of The Mindful Kind Podcast.  These are quick, 10-ish minute podcasts about mindful and intentional living.  I particularly loved her episodes about over-apologizing and how to take things less personally.  I also added a few more podcasts to my playlist.  They are such a good way to entertain and learn simultaneously! Nuggets of knowledge that you can implement immediately…that’s my jam!

2)Tried The Little Red Window’s tutorial on making clay trinket dishes.  Ummm this is my new passion now and it has transitioned into keychains and earrings and wine charms and coasters and whatever I can think of…I’m feeling an etsy shop coming on!  Here is a peek inside my new ceramics studio (aka the kitchen counter…lol).

3)Worked on my existing hobby of making beaded jewelry, which is a nice compliment to the clay trinket dishes I’ve been creating.  So I’ve been doing them both as I have spare time.  Here is a bracelet/earring/trinket dish set that I made recently for my sister.

4)Researched and created new styles for t-shirts, including more cities, states, hbcu’s, and customization options.  If my main job isn’t fulfilling, that’s just motivation for me to rev the engine on my side hustle.  Here is a style that I launched recently that immediately started selling as soon as I put it in my etsy store. If you like the style, let me know how I can customize it for you!

5)Downloaded and started working through some e-books related to my business, including A Guide for Procrastinating Bloggers by The Black Princess Diaries.  This e-book made me examine some ways that I procrastinate and helped me think of steps that I can take to avoid procrastination. Ummm…needed that!!  I had some immediate take-aways after finishing the e-book!

What do you do when you feel unfulfilled at work or in life? Do you have any tips? I’d love to hear them!

justamarylandgirl