Tag: peace

Kindness Matters. Always.

I woke up this morning with a buzz in my ear…and here it is.

Kindness. Matters.

Once more.

Kindness. Matters.

You may have seen on my social media, on my etsy shop and on my blog that I call myself a kindness advocate.  Let me explain a little.  Judging comes very easy to me.  Always has.  Expectations and opinions flow through my veins.  It is only through some serious growth, and a few hard lessons, that I realized that I’m not always right and kindness truly matters. 

Giving the benefit of the doubt matters. 

Understanding that everyone is different matters. 

Realizing that everyone’s circumstances are different, their backgrounds are different, their response mechanisms are different, their support systems are different…and that all of that matters.

It took me well into my 30s before I realized that how I think, how I react, and what I do is not always right.  That was a hard pill to swallow.  Lol.  I realized I’m not always the smartest person in the room and that I’m definitely not always right.  I don’t always have the answers, and there are other ways of doing and thinking that are better than the way I do it.

I realized that you really have to hear where a person comes from and how they got to where they are in life before you can really understand their position, their mentality, and their actions. 

Maybe you would have done things differently if faced with the same set of circumstances, but maybe not.  I had to really examine how many times I’ve made a bad decision, one that others in my exact situation wouldn’t have made, and how I had to learn from the mistake to truly appreciate just how bad of a decision it was.  Most of the time, the decisions were things I could recover from.  But some did change my life in more permanent ways. But should I be judged or should someone be mean to me because I chose a wrong path or because I made a decision they wouldn’t have made? I don’t think so.

But every interaction may not afford you the opportunity for a deep dive into people’s lives so that you can understand exactly how they got to that street corner, or wound up in a financial bind, or whatever.  It may only be seconds of time out of your life that your path crosses with someone.  And that’s when you have to decide.  Would I rather spend these seconds judging, being mean, ignoring, or getting riled up?  Or would I rather realize this is a human being that got here by means of which I do not know, and that this person could use a couple of dollars, a sweater, a drink, a meal, a smile, or at the very least, for someone to not add to the weight on their shoulders by being mean to them?

My choice is compassion.  Or rather, the choice I hope I make each time is compassion.  Kindness.  Generosity.  I’m working each day to train myself to make that choice, and to advocate for people to consider compassion as their choice.  It’s not always easy, and it doesn’t come naturally all the time.  But that’s what I am working towards each day.  Kindness always.  Even when it’s really, really, really hard.

Through my apparel, I try to emphasize positivity and good vibes.  I try to always smile, and I try to see the good in every person I interact with either in person or on social media.  I’m not always successful, trust me.  But it is something I actively strive for each day.

These days we are all coping with unprecedented stress. We are in a situation we may not see again in our lifetime. We are all figuring it out and we are all trying our best. And we all deserve a little kindness.

Do you have a personal attribute that you are working on? What made you realize it was time to work on that particular quality? What do you do to motivate yourself to work on it? Do you have any tips?

justamarylandgirl

Unsubscribe from Those Things Which Do Not Serve You

CollageMaker_20190917_111341365

We all get those emails…and now, heaven forbid…those texts.  The ones offering a sale, or promoting an event, that we can’t quite figure out why we’re being alerted about.  Oh well, no biggie…delete.  Then you get another one, and another one, and a reminder, and before you know it, you’re getting a message a day, then multiple messages a day…delete, delete, delete.  WHY ARE YOU HERE???  WHO SENT YOU???

If you’re like me, it’s not enough to delete and keep it moving.  I want to find the root of the problem and cut off the source, and let them know not to EVER EVER EVER come around here no mo!!!  DO. NOT. SEND. ME. ANOTHER. EMAIL.!!!!  Since the source is probably a sold marketing list from someone I bought something from six months ago…or an event I expressed interest in but never attended (how many times have I done that??), finding the source is not likely to happen, I tuck my tail and opt for the next best, yet not quite as satisfying, thing…I click unsubscribe.

Then to add insult to injury, that little message pops up saying that they hate to see me go, and asking what did they do wrong.  Ha!  What did you do wrong???  You sent me an email!   Please click the box that applies–they ask.  Where is the box that says WHO. SENT. YOU.????

Then they probe me further.  Do we send too many emails?  Do you want to revise your subscription?  I NEVER SUBSCRIBED!!!  Do you only want to hear about sales and special events?  Seasonal messages?  Certain products?  What?  How can we keep you???  Please don’t go!!!

It is getting harder and harder to just live in peace, uninterrupted and unbothered.  Stores and people will intrude on your space without thinking about it for a millisecond.  Any opportunity that they can find to jam their issues or products smack into your face, they will take it.

And it’s not just businesses that do this.  Do you ever find that your day is going along perfectly fine, and someone figures out how to disrupt your peace with their drama?  Can you help?  Can you buy?  Can you advise me?  Can you listen to this?  Take my side?  Do me a favor?

Or what about the oh so important news alerts, or text message notifications from the chat group you don’t remember ever asking to be in?  It is virtually impossible these days to just be.   Uninterrupted and unbothered.  Impossible.

But here’s the good news.  That unsubscribe button…it’s there for a reason, and you should definitely use it.  Use it now, and use it often.  Yes, you should not have to use it, but if it helps to make your life a little less irritating, then click it hard and fast!  And don’t give it another thought.

To preserve your peace of mind, to maintain your sanity, or to save your wallet, unsubscribe from these items ASAP:

  • Emails from stores that you rarely or never shop at
  • Email lists that message often, but you rarely read
  • Any text messages from a business you have no interest in
  • Emails that tempt you daily about a product you don’t need and should never purchase
  • Group chats that are constantly dramatic
  • Emails about items that are no longer relevant (you already bought the house, why do you need to keep hearing from the realtor?)
  • Emails about events that you’ve decided are of no interest to you
  • Emails that are clearly from a company that you’ve never had a relationship with and never will
  • Continuous emails from hotel and travel sites when the promotions aren’t typically as good as they lead you to believe
  • Social media accounts that don’t serve as a source of information, joy, comedy, inspiration, or motivation

Life is hard enough sometimes.  Do you really need mental interruptions that impact your peace of mind?  If the answer is no, do yourself a favor–unsubscribe!!

justamarylandgirl